“Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date]. Please leave a brief message with your contact information, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return on [date]. If this is an emergency or you need to speak with someone before I return, please contact [name of colleague/supervisor], [their job title], at [their phone number].”
Some wireless carriers give their subscribers the option to send voicemail directly without ringing the other party’s line. This generally is only available if both parties are on the same carrier, but when it’s available it’s super easy.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Chances are, that voicemail that you’ve recorded and deleted thirty times has been just fine. Your main goal is not to get in the way of the caller leaving a message, which is exactly what can happen if you overthink it or drone on too long.
Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on your machine. You don’t want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your listeners. So be absolutely sure. And, if you have any more voicemail ideas, do let us know by leaving a comment below. Till then, I’d like to… beep.