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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.

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Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.
This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call. .

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Hello… my name is (your name)’s refrigerator. He/she isn’t home right now to take your call. To leave him/her a message, speak very slowly so I can stick the message with the help of these refrigerator magnets.
The best voicemail messages are friendly, concise, and get straight to the point. So, what is a good voicemail script? In this post, we’ll discuss why you need a script, give you five voicemail templates, and show you how to record a professional greeting.

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-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

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Follow the instructions and press that number. You will be asked to delete your current Voicemail greeting. Click on the ‘Yes’ button that appears on the screen if you want to remove that. You can save your new recorded Voicemail greeting or can use the default recorded option. From the home screen, select the Phone app. Note: Alternately, you can set up voicemail by selecting the Phone app then selecting and holding the 1 key. Select Keypad, then select the Visual Voicemail icon. Select Start. Select Ok. From any Home screen, tap the Menu key. Tap Settings. Tap Call settings. Tap Voicemail. Tap Voicemail again. View the voicemail number. Press and hold the 1 on your device’s dial pad to call and connect to your voicemail. Press the star * key to access the main menu. Press 4 to access the mailbox options. Press 7 to change the language of the voicemail prompts to either Spanish or English.

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For many small businesses, the announcement will send the caller straight to a voicemail box. But larger organizations may decide to direct callers to a phone menu or forward the call to an external destination, depending on the situation. These options can include: Listing individual voicemail boxes for different departments or employees. Forwarding calls to a professional answering service. Giving callers an option to connect to an after hours or emergency support line. Directing calls to a personal cell phone. Presenting menu options for additional recordings about office locations, ongoing promotions, and other information.

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    Businesses should have two main types of greetings to create an excellent call experience. The first one is what we call a “welcome greeting” – this greeting welcomes callers to your business. Typically, a welcome greeting will present a menu of call options like hours, location, or customer service. For more details on how to create a welcome greeting for your general business number, read this article.

    Yes, though if there's no preexisting greeting the GUI won't detect it if placed in the filesystem. I suspect a database entry is needed for the GUI to "see" the greeting. As a workaround a greeting could be recorded (so that the database entry is present) and the file replaced, but that's getting to be quite a task end-to-end. Also I don't know if the database stores the length of the recordings, which could be problematic during playback if the original and replacement audio files are different lengths. I will do some testing. Thanks. Aug 16, 2018 #4
    For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.

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    4. “Thanks for calling [your company]. We’re looking forward to speaking with you. Let us call you back as soon as we are available by leaving your name, contact information and the reason for your call. Have a great day.” A simple, concise, and, of course, friendly voicemail greeting for your main business line.

    If you had a generic voicemail greeting and recorded a personalized voicemail greeting you can change to the custom voicemail greeting by saving your custom voicemail recording. You should first listen to your recording by playing it from the menu and can then choose to keep the custom greeting or revert to the default one. Don’t forget to confirm your changes by tapping “Save” when done.
    Every production is recorded, edited and mixed with the highest quality standards to ensure the very best sound on every phone system.

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    Translation: If you sound unsure, then your current clients, prospects, and partners won’t be so sure about you either.

    8.) Bienvenue sur le Service de John Doe. Malheureusement, toutes les lignes sont occupées pour le moment. Laissez un message après le bip sonore avec votre nom et numéro de téléphone. Nous vous rappellerons dès que possible. Nous vous souhaitons une bonne journée.
    It offers FREE voice mail greetings for the different people that call your cell phone. It's called youmail. This youmail service can replace your cellular voicemail with a supposedly better voice mail system that includes a set of cool and different features such as different personalized greetings for each caller, online and phonebased

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    Voicemail transcription (beta; available only in certain countries or regions) shows your messages transcribed into text. Transcription is limited to voicemails in English received on your iPhone with iOS 10 or later. Transcription depends on the quality of the recording.

    Congratulations! You've recorded a professional voicemail greeting that your callers love. If you want them to keep loving it, you'll need to update regularly. Adding seasonal information and varying your message keeps your greetings fresh, which is especially important for businesses whose clients and customers call in on a regular basis.
    Set up Visual Voicemail. If your carrier supports Visual Voicemail, you can set it up with these steps: Go to the Phone app, then tap the Voicemail tab. Tap Set Up Now. Create a voicemail password, then tap Done. Enter your password again to confirm it, then tap Done. Select Custom or Default. If you choose Custom, you can record a new greeting.

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The good news: It's easy to set up a personal voicemail greeting on your Galaxy S10.

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If you have a business VoIP phone system that offers an auto attendant feature, you should be able to create a phone menu fairly easily. Be sure to state which key the caller should press to select an option on the menu.

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9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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Hi there! You’ve reached the sewer on the next street. I can’t get to the phone right now, but if you take a wee walk, I’ll be at the sewer grate with the red balloon…floating. Please feel free to join me.

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