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Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

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If someone is listening to your voicemail greeting it's only because they intend to leave you a message. Don't make them listen to 3 minutes of rambling in order to do so. Plus, you're more likely to deliver a clean, professional read if you stick to shorter greetings. If more specific information is needed, direct callers to where they can find it on your website.
9.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». К сожалению, сейчас никого нет в офисе. Пожалуйста, оставьте ваше имя и номер телефона после сигнала. Мы вам перезвоним как можно скорее. .

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Mention the details up front to notify callers of the situation immediately. If possible, specify which dates your office will be closed or when you will be back in business.
2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project.

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12.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». Вы можете связаться с нами с понедельника по пятницу с 8 утра до 12.30, и с 13.00 до 16.30. На данный момент, мы не можем ответить на ваш звонок лично. Пожалуйста, оставьте сообщение с вашим именем и номером телефона и мы вам перезвоним как можно скорее. В экстренных случаях, вы можете связаться с нами по номеру 0821 91039 - 1211. Большое спасибо.
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1.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Lo sentimos, en estos momentos no hay nadie disponible en nuestras oficinas o está llamando fuera de nuestro horario de trabajo. Por favor, deje un mensaje o envíe un correo electrónico a [email protected]. Gracias por su llamada.

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Rehearse your greeting a few times before you press record. Plan your pauses and select natural places to take a breath. If you are recording directly into your phone don't hold it to your ear like you are talking on the phone. This can produce a muffled tone. Hold the phone out in front of you a few inches from your mouth for the clearest recording. This may require some trial and error. So playback your greeting and make necessary adjustments on your re-record.

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    Voicemail messages complete your professional image. Whether you are using your cell phone as a mobile office or desire a unified sound for all of your employees, voicemail greetings recorded by a professional voice over talent provide the missing element.

    Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…
    9.) Welcome to John Doe. Unfortunately, there is no one in the office right now. Please leave your name and phone number after the tone. We will call you back as soon as possible.

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    Now Available! Our in-house voiceover talent can record your greeting up to 2-minutes in length for only $29.00 (male voice only)*

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    Voicemails need to maintain a professional consistency that’s aligned with the entity it’s representing. That said, the structure can vary depending on the situation. There’s no template set in stone. In fact, trite and generic should be off the table. The goal should be a balance of uniqueness and practicality.

    These steps are for all Devices including Windows, if voicemail is less than 30 days old. Go to My T-Mobile and log in to your account. Click My Phone or Line Details > Check Voicemail. Log into your Digits account. Click on the message to download. In the expanded menu, click Download.
    Want some sample business voicemail messages? Below are 21 pre-recorded business voicemail greeting examples to get you started. You’ll find voicemail examples for your business’s main phone number, your direct business line, your after-hours (or non-business hours) voicemail, some holiday-specific greetings, and your customer service line. Even better, all these voicemail greetings are free and you can download the voicemail’s mp3 file!

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    Pro Tip: Smile while you’re recording your greeting and your voice will sound pleasant.

    2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
    Hi, thanks for calling the residence of the Jennings Family. As you can tell, no one’s home to answer your call, but just leave your name, number and message and we’ll get back as soon as we can. Thanks

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As an added bonus, posting a job on Voices.com is always free. They also have a VoiceMatch™ algorithm to match your job to only the most qualified voice talent.

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For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to associate itself.

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Here, the ophthalmologist is not in a position to receive a call. However, he/she makes sure the patient’s need is addressed.

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Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording. Click here and listen on Youtube to what it would sound like if Mr. Jackson leant his voice to your voicemail recording.

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