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Not sure what to say, or is your existing greeting making people doze off? Here’s what we recommend: “Hello. You've reached ______. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thank you, and have a great day.”

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Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
On Air Recordings recommends you order professional voicemail greetings through their site, then describe the tone, approach, or voice direction you’re going for. .

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7. Once you begin recording, you'll see the line turn red. This indicates how much time you have left. You'll have about two minutes to record your greeting - chances are you won't need that long.
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I’ll get back to you as soon as it’s safe for you to come out of hiding.

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5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
12.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Potete contattarci dal Lunedì al Venerdì dalle 8am alle 12.30pm e dall’1pm alle 4.30pm. Al momento non possiamo rispondere personalmente alla vostra chiamata. Si prega di lasciare un messaggio con il vostro nome e numero di telefono e vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Per casi urgenti, potete raggiungerci al numero 0821 91039-1211. Grazie.

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5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

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The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!

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    Category: Phone Number, Mobile Phone, Home Phone, Computer, Mail Service Show more

    Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
    Hello, you have reached the office of Doctor X. I’m on call at the moment, so I’m unable to respond to your call immediately. Please leave your name, reason for calling, and your number and I will return your call as soon as possible, or call my secretary at Y.

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    Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.

    11.) Bem-vindo a John Doe, infelizmente, você nos ligou fora do horário comercial ou não podemos atender a sua chamada no momento. Se você quiser nos deixar uma mensagem, por favor envie um e-mail para [email protected] - Entraremos em contato o mais rápido possível. Para mais informações sobre nós, por favor visite o nosso site www.johndoe.de. Muito obrigado pela sua ligação.
    The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!

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    5. Pre-Recorded Voicemail Drop Software. Leave Me Your Name, Number, And Reason For Call After The Beep. Call Me On Your New Number And I Will Try To Take Your Call.

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    Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.

    Out Now: ‘Collection of SaGa: Final Fantasy Legend’, ‘Pokemon UNITE’, ‘Indies’ Lies’, ‘The Lord of the Rings: Rise to War’, ‘Project ICHR’, ‘Unholy Society’ and More
    If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

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Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?

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Website: https://support.google.com/voice/answer/115069?hl=en&co=GENIE.Platform=Desktop

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Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.

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If you haven’t set up any voicemail on your android, you can follow this step by step tutorial:

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