I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message!
I don't actually have an answering machine or voicemail or whatever, but I would have had this one: Hallo?
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-Hi, you’ve reached _____________. Please leave a message after my kid stops (awkward moment of silence) owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!… continuing… after my kid stops hitting me in the back with his hockey stick! BEEP
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Keep in mind that short greetings are often much better then trying to say way too much that could confuse your callers. Some pointers to ask, “please leave your name and number”, or maybe ask them to go your business website to contact you by email, or even as simple as text.
-Hey you all, thanks for calling me today. It will be super nice if you would leave me a special and kind message so I’m encouraged to call you back.
Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine .
4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
It starts off pretty normal until Jimmy witnesses said car accident while speaking:
I would be more than happy to discuss your project and your budget, together we can come up with a plan that works for everyone. Budgets and negotiation are often part of the business world.
4. Voicemail greetings for calls received after business hours. You don’t want to answer calls 24/7 (unless you’re serving clients globally and there’s an expectation of 24/7 support).
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"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished."
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17. Hi, this is [your name] at [X Business Name]. Our office is currently closed, but I’ll be back in the office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Feel free to leave a message or send me an email at [email address], and I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.