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Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you… Bye!” .

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A long time back I found all the AT&T voice pieces in a set of .wav files. I made an answering machine message that said, "I'm sorry... the number you have dialed xxx-xxxx is no longer in service. You can reach your party at their new number, 911." Something to that affect. I don't think many people even got to my phone number before they hung up. I changed it shortly thereafter.
This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!

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No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...

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Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost your voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.

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    What's better than one of these not-so-funny voicemail messages? A voicemail greeting that's well written and professionally recorded. The most important thing to remember when writing a new voicemail is don't waste the caller's time. A concise, informative voicemail may seem "square," but its better than irritating and alienating potential business opportunity. Tags: resources, tips, greetings Recent Blogs Taking Your Presentations To The Next Level With Audio and Voice April 01, 2019 Tools to Support Message on Hold Production October 12, 2018 tips (186) resources (163) message on hold (154) marketing (118) customer experience (101) Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes >

    Your voicemail greeting can make a positive or negative impression on people. By considering your target audience and tone, you should be able to keep it positive. Length: Don’t make people wait minutes to leave a message. Apologies: If people expect your to be available, apologize for missing their call. Set expectations: Let people know when they may receive a callback, but be realistic. Accuracy: If you change your voicemail for things like holidays, be sure to update it when needed. How do You Set Up a Business Voicemail?
    Website: https://www.americanvoicemail.com/articles/10-must-haves-of-professional-voicemail-for-real-estate/

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    These voicemail ideas may not come so easily for some of you. And who says that finding inspiration is a bad thing.

    To improve a a business voicemail greeting, keep these eight rules at the forefront of the creative process: Avoid turning customers off with overused and impersonal phrases like “your call is very important to us..." Avoid leaving customers unsure by not immediately telling them the business, department, and/or person they’ve reached. Avoid leaving customers confused with too many details and complications; just keep it simple. Avoid messages longer than 25 seconds. Do apologize for being unavailable at the moment. Do invite the caller to leave a message. Do tell the caller when they can expect a return call and actually follow through within that timeframe. Do tell the caller about any applicable alternative options of contact and information- website, live chat, email, social media, or emergency numbers. Voicemail Greetings 101
    Has using headphones made you think about their working? To know how headphones work, read on.

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    Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings

    09Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.
    9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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    Always keep in mind the people who will be listening to your professional voicemail greetings. What type of tone and information resonates with them?

    Home Personal My Voicemail Greeting. My Voicemail Greeting. TRACKS: 58 CATEGORY: PERSONAL RIGHTS: PERSONAL VIEWS: 217,842. Phone Greeting Generic. Phone greeting 2. Phone greeting 3. Ringtone- hey your phone is ringing (sung) Angry Southern Man. Clint Eastwood. Irish Phone Msg. am_spock.
    Read the SMS.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.

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funny professional voicemail greetings

Website: https://www.openphone.co/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings/

examples of professional voicemail greetings

“Hello. *your name*’s answering machine is broken; this is his/her refrigerator. You can leave a message, but please say it really slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.”

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5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

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I am willing to bet that every man and woman on that subway went and told their friends about that experience. The same idea goes for a voicemail greeting. If you come up with a funny and memorable voicemail greeting, people will share their experience with their friends and family, further enhancing your word of mouth.

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