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Hi there! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!] We’re away at the moment but please leave your name, number, and let us know how we can help you. We’ll make sure the right team gets back to you within [the next 24 hours]. We appreciate your call. Thank you. .

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Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you’re in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there’s a chance they won’t appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. “This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.” “Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven’t reached the Sorting Hat — it’s the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.” “Hello! You’ve gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back.”

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Funny phrases when answering the phone. Answering the phone with funny phrases, like “talk to me” or “Yello”, is a classic. However, the more creative you are, the funnier you will be. For example, according to List Keepers, the No. 1 funny way to answer the phone is: “City Morgue, you kill them, we relax ’em.”

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On Air Recordings recommends you order professional voicemail greetings through their site, then describe the tone, approach, or voice direction you’re going for.

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  • personal voicemail greeting script

    Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone.

    8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."
    I’d like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people love to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings. So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old hand at the game.

  • sample business voice message greetings

    “This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”

    Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital. If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.
    20. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s phone. I’m busy making deals or rock climbing [replace with your personal hobbies], so leave your contact information and a brief message so I can call you back when I have a free moment.

  • examples of business voicemail greetings

    Sites: TheJournal.ie | Noteworthy | The42 | Boards.ie | Adverts.ie | Daft.ie One email every morning As soon as new articles come online Funny Voicemail: When you return a call you missed on purpose and it goes to their voicemail 12BRA SRF 3RF @tank.sinatra MemeCenter.com Voicemail Memes. Best Collection of Funny Voicemail Pictures Funny Voicemail: CALLS 911 VOICEMAIL MemeCentera memecenter.com Voicemail Memes. Best Collection of Funny Voicemail Pictures Funny Voicemail: DECIDE TO MAKE FUNNY VOICEMAIL MESSAGE FRIENDS ACTUALLY CALL NOW, BUT WANT THE VOICEMAIL NOT YOU quickmeme.com Funny Voicemail Greeting Sample Funniest Greetings Messages For Cell ...

    If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say.
    Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I can’t come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call.

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    Along the way, voice mail usage also suffered significant drops. People not only stopped leaving voice mail messages, they stopped listening to voice mail messages received. In 2012 Vonage, a voice over Internet Protocol (IP) carrier, tracked an 8 percent drop in voice mails left for users. Even worse, Vonage saw a 14 percent drop in people even bothering to listen to voice mail messages others left for them. The company has not released updated stats, but I’d assume the decline continues five years later.

    First you need to know how much time your phone system or provider allows for the duration of the greeting. Some are 30 sec some are longer. Then you need to have a few ideas of what you want to say, or ask your callers.
    – Driving to the day care center to pick up Tracy. Leave a message if it is urgent or I shall return your call in a little while.

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Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, several radio programs have aired interviews with persons claiming to have some involvement with this audio clip. On 4 February 2005, the nationally syndicated Coast to Coast AM show put through a caller who maintained he was the person who had been beaten by the women as described in the purported voicemail message. In late February, several stations broadcast

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When unable to answer the phone, a voicemail message can be important. Below are examples of what to say in a voicemail message. Whether recording the message for a personal phone or a business line, these ideas will help.

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