“You’ve reached Bernice’s phone. I’m getting a tooth pulled on Tuesday and don’t feel like talking. In fact, I’ll probably sleep for about four days after the procedure. Tooth resorption is not a joke, friends. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let your human brush your damn teeth, even if it feels like you’re about to DIE by way of tiny toothbrush. Also, I’ll be accepting gifts of gravy in the days following the extraction.”
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No47: This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a smile on your, as well as your caller's face.
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My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.
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Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, debate has ensued about whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place. (Skeptics have questioned facets such as whether the narrator would not only have been able to tell at a distance that the book one of the assaulting women was carrying was a Bible, but to identify the specific version of Bible — and why the narrator would think to note that detail in his description.) A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box (the restaurant chain most frequently mentioned in circulated versions of this recording) produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I’m not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet.
Cats don’t enjoy following anyone’s rules. They want everything on their own terms — total rebels. If they had their own phones and could speak like humans (stay with me), they’d definitely screen their calls, because they want to be the ones to decide when they chat with others. And no one would tell them what to say in their voicemail greetings, either. Guidelines are for suckers.
Recording voicemail greetings for your business or personal life requires a separate list of priorities, because they are being used for two distinct purposes and will be heard by two very different types of callers. I have a friend with two cell phones - one for work, and one for personal calls - and if you call both lines, you would never know it's the same person.
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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."
Again, “sell to me”, “feel comfortable”. I want their subconscious to hear me say, speaking of which, I found a lot of sellers who reached out to us are just wondering when we're going to try and pull the wool over their eyes or whether the up to something scammy, so I like to just drop in indications that we understand that they're a little nervous about this and the whole transaction is going to be handled by a licensed attorney and a local title company, no kitchen table closings, so everything is being done above board.
10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.
Movies are the perfect place to find cute love quotes and sayings because every word in the script is carefully crafted for an emotional response. Show off your pop culture knowledge and creativity when you take a famous movie quote and give it a cute relationship twist. Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just missing your guy, let him know how you feel with a sweet voicemail. If you can't be with your guy, but want to let him know you're thinking of him, a cute voicemail is the perfect solution.
Using poems, rhymes, or creating rap songs is another way to leave funny voicemail messages. Twisting any popular poem or rapping an altered nursery rhyme can be a fun way to stamp your personality on a voicemail, for example, "Now I lay me down to sleep — please leave your SOS at the beep" or "Roses are red, violets are blue, if you leave a message, I'll ..." Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer.
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