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My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.

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2. Interactive Voice Response (IVR) Greeting. The greeting callers hear when they enter your IVR. Sample Scripts: “For English press 1. Para Español presione el número 2.”
Being the great guy that he is, the star humbly complied but added a fun and unexpected close to the recording. Please leave a message. Laugh as you watch how Mr. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers. Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary. Live long and prosper. Click here to listen to the Star Trek voicemail greeting on Youtube. .

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10. Uncovering Competitor Info. When it comes to sales voicemail scripts, even the smallest details of a message significantly impact the response rates.
Aside from the fact that we can't substantiate a bit of this, of course, the one thing that seems fishy to me is that he's able to not only pick out that she hit him with a Bible (which, depending on his vantage point, I guess he could see - or at least think he sees), but he's able to say which version of the Bible it is. That's awfully odd to me.

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You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

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19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."

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"Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here...now...thank you. How are you?" cromagnon, May 26, 2003 Joined: Jul 27, 2002 Messages: 1,463 You have reached the room of Matt and Brad. I am busy throwing Brad out the window (scream, quickly diminishing), so please leave a message. We had to try about 6 times before we didn't laugh while making it. Our RA came in and asked if everything was alright from my screaming.

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    This Is For Rachel makes a funny viral Meme Design for Men and Women. Grab it if you listened to this funny Voicemail and died of laughing or gift it for your Friend who likes funny saying Design, Sarcasm, trendy Jokes and Viral Memes.

    answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break FREEAnsweringMachin eMessages. FREE. Page 6/25. Download File PDF Free Phone Answering Machine Messages Audio Answering. Machine. Messages. Below is a
    2. Voxist. Voxist is one of the great visual voicemail that allows users to manage voicemails conveniently and smoothly, anywhere they go, and also let them read transcribed voicemail messages.

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    Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.
    1.) A study by AT&T found that five out of every six phone calls go straight to voicemail. Since you’re always more likely than not to get someone’s voicemail, before calling, script out what you want to say. Maybe even practice it out loud once before you dial.

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    As you look to update your script, here are a few questions to ask: Will your voicemail greeting be funny, so your callers think your business is fun? Do you want the tone to be more professional, so it gives callers the impression you only work with Fortune 500 companies? Do you want to record a brief message, or will a more detailed message be helpful? Knowing these answers will help you craft a personal voicemail greeting unique to your company.

    How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek….
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    No6: (Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot.

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    Leave a message at the beep. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages.

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"Hi, this is Steve. There's nobody here, and even if there was we wouldn't answer the phone. And even if we did, we wouldn't say anything. Maybe you shouldn't have called."

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2. Interactive Voice Response (IVR) Greeting. The greeting callers hear when they enter your IVR. Sample Scripts: “For English press 1. Para Español presione el número 2.”

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No2: Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)

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