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We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you’ll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny …

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Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.
5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number]. .

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My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
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Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
No8: Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions. No9: Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

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I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.

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Isn't this information interesting and quirky for your machine?Of course, you have to be careful what you say and record it on your machine.You don't want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your audience.So definitely.If you have more voicemail ideas, please leave a comment below and let us know.

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    Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages I've put in for you guys. Download: Click on icon next to each track or the 'FULL BOARD' button to add to your cart Per Track: $0.99 or FULL BOARD $4.99 Recipient Mobile. Message. Send Close . Build.

    Yes, I agree. It’s sad. But writing is a solitary activity, and I’m more of a people person. Even if the other person isn’t on the other end of the phone, it’s still nice to have someone to chat with. : )
    Hello, we are unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number unless of course you are a salesman or trying to solicit money.

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    9. OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.

    On Air Recordings started providing recording services in 1992. Their service is pretty simple and straightforward: You choose the voice actor you like, then upload your voicemail script. The voice artist records your project and then you download it. Need guidance on your script, tone, and structure? They have services for that too.
    Moving on. I asked them to tell us not just about their house in their message, but their situation. I invite them to at least open the door and describing whether or not this is an inherited property or a road old rental property or what have you. Obviously they can choose whether they want to include that at all or how much they want to say about it, but at least asking for it makes sense to me.

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    41 Funniest Voicemail Greetings in the World. Many years ago, in a time before cell phones (Yes it exists, and I remember it!) I used to get inundated with phone calls to my landline at all times of day and night.

    My friend found a recording of a man rifling off purposely confusing voice mail instructions. It's really fast, and he keeps saying numbers and number combinations... I wish I had it....
    No4: Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

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    If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid.The difference between a good morning and a bad morning is oftentimes the first message that you receive in the morning. If you want a fail-safe message that could work on the most important people in your lifelike your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or even your parents, you can always take the light and humorous approach.

    I'm not available right now, but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device.
    This script is very informative for motivated sellers. However, I do not have the years of experience you mentioned in the beginning. Still worth a try because I can tweak it.

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If you’re an entrepreneur or small business owner who’s debating the benefits of getting a voicemail greeting, keep reading!

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Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.

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The description reproduced above sets up the following scenario: While an operations manager employed by a restaurant (variously claimed to be Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, Burger King, or some other fast food chain) is commuting to the

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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

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