9. 212-479-7990: You have been rejected. You met an exciting new person, asked for their phone number, and got it. But when you called, it was not them on the line.
“Hi, this is Ralph. You’re getting this message because I’m probably sleeping. Leave your message at the tone and maybe I’ll call you back when I’m awake. If this is about anything food-related, please press 411 and your call will be rerouted to the dog, who will immediately wake me up to take your call. Do not use 411 because you want to tell me you lost a whisker or your human changed cat litter brands on you. I don’t care. Food only! And anyway, why aren’t YOU sleeping? Weirdo.”
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It's 2013. Do we still need to talk about voicemail messages on cell phones? When was the last time you checked your inbox? When was the last time you left a message?? 7 Audio eGreeting Cards You Can Send Year-Round July 24, 2012 Juli Durante customer experience, branding, greetings
4. Hi, thanks for calling GetVoIP. We would love to help you out in anyway we can, but these Holidays are keeping us from getting anything done! We will be returning to the office after the New Year on Jan 2nd, but feel free to head over to our website GetVoIP.com to learn what you can. Happy holidays!
Hey, this is ________, and I'm can't come to the phone right now, but don't mind me--You know what to do!
I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.
Obviously the women had taken umbrage to his crashing into them and the rest of this street gang then jumped out of the car; continuing their assault:
Are you ready to talk to the answering machine? Now you can with MY voice message. It listens, records, and even has a beep! Unlike other voicemails, every word is heard. This is a huge value, all for just 2 easy payments and one complicated payment. If you leave a message within the next 10 seconds, I will return your call free of charge. This offer is not available in stores, so leave a message now. Self-evident Jane Barbe (not a real recording, her real voice mashup) makes sure that you know…
Hey, not here right now and not really interested in who this is, I’m out on a wilderness retreat learning about the importance of making connections.
Voicemails and answering machines were particularly en vogue in the '90s hip-hop world. Pitchfork wrote this excellent guide to voicemail templates in …
I’d like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people love to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings. So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old hand at the game.
Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
Hello? Hello? Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you. That's because I'm not home. Leave a message.
3. “Ooooooh, its a lady.” If its a lady on the other end, then yell “oooooh its a lady”! That lady will surely get a good laugh.
I actually get choked up when I think about how generous you are with the skills and knowledge you share. Thank you for a treasure trove of extremely valuable information.
Voicemail greetings are not memorable. Most of them are exactly the same and therefore, provide no surprise to the person on the other end of the line. When people see, hear and experience the expected, they tend to forget it very quickly. Funny voicemail greetings give your callers a sense of shock. That shock is not easily forgotten. Not only will this encourage sharing and engagement (which I will get to later), but it will also give you a distinct advantage when you return the call.
No2: Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)