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In your greeting, get to the point, and keep it concise. A Little Humor Goes a Long Way. If your greeting displays a lighthearted warmth, that is great as it puts a personal spin on your business and lends personality to your brand. But make sure that your humor is professional and appropriate.

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Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)
Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. .

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What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes …

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Informal voicemail greetings are those that don’t adhere to the rules of professional and business voicemail greetings. Here, you are free to just leave a simple greeting, or use it to show your more witty side. This style of greetings can be used for both home and business if you like, depending on the type of caller you expect. For instance, a novelty shop could probably create a rather informal message, using sound effects that represent the type of items they sell.

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4. The Millennial Greeting. We don’t call anymore, text. Seriously? You’re calling, again? Can everything you have to say be condensed in a text message? Hello, this is [insert name].

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Hi, this is [Name]. I’m not currently available at the moment, but I look forward to talking with you. Please leave your contact information, along with a short message, and I’ll make certain to return your call.

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    Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.

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    Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, i'll try to squeeze you in.

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    Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in.

    What voice do you want to convey when speaking with customers? This may be professional, casual, or even humorous.
    Little things like a great voicemail can really set you apart from your competition. Think about it. Would you be more inclined to want to interview someone who is shouting about how much they hate calling people back, or the person who simply asks you to leave a message? Andrea (she/her) is our head of PR at Snagajob, where she’s focused on telling the world how we help hourly workers and employers. Her first hourly job was as a lifeguard.

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    10Hello, this is [your name]. I’m probably at home just avoiding someone I dislike. A funny way of telling someone you’re avoiding them without sounding offensive or having to pick their calls. Please speak very slowly, make it short, make it sweet, and I’ll deliver the message to them. Using other household appliances as stand-ins for the message center is cute and funny. This voicemail will warn callers not to bring drama, so you can save yourself the trouble of having to hear a message that was about to spoil your day.

    7. Voicemail Message. The company voicemail greeting callers hear. Sample Voicemail Scripts: “You have reached the voicemail of [company name]. Please leave a detailed message and someone will return your call as soon as possible.”
    Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.

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    ALSO also, to answer the glaring question: Should you even have seller calls handled by voicemail rather than live answered? (my opinion and thoughts on this may surprise you).

    Hello! Thanks for calling [LinkedPhone. We’re currently tied up assisting other entrepreneurs & small businesses at the moment]. But please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and we will get back to you as soon as possible. We look forward to working with you. Thank you.
    Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”

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More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.

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No50: How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!! A Laugh Line Media Inc. Copyright © 2009-2011. All Rights Reserved

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