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3. “Ooooooh, its a lady.” If its a lady on the other end, then yell “oooooh its a lady”! That lady will surely get a good laugh.

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Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls. A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them. .

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Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hi, this is _____. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hello, this is _____. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message.
Get your FREE copy of Art's newly-revised, best-selling 190-page book, "How to Place the Successful Sales Call" mailed to you (just help with the shipping and handling). Over 10,000 sold at $29. Hundreds of word-for-word scripting and messaging examples. Claim yours today! Popular Posts Responding to “I’m not interested.” Why I Am a Maui Jim Sunglasses Customer for Life Funniest or Most Embarrassing Phone Experiences 74 How Questions You Can Use Who Should You Invite to Connect on LinkedIn? Primary Menu Home

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6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you."
If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser.

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And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything. Step 2 Record a message using a friend who speaks in a deep, low, creepy voice and says "[your name] can't come to the phone.

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1. 1-603-413-4124: Calling Santa. Ever thought of reaching out to Santa months before the Christmas period? Well, this line allows you to talk to the man in charge of deciding who gets what for Christmas.

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    To set up voice mail, tap the Phone icon, tap the Voicemail icon and then "Greeting.". There are two options available: Default and Custom. If voice mail hasn't been set up previously on your phone, Default is selected, which means people will hear your wireless carrier's generic voice mail greeting when they call you.

    Thanks for all the great advice you share on the Manners Mentor blog! Here is my situation. I hope you can help. Sometimes I’m good at leaving a voicemail that’s to the point, but most of the time I feel like I’m a babbling idiot. I never know how much information to leave. How much is too much? How much isn’t enough, especially in a professional setting? I would love to know your thoughts on this. Best wishes for a wonderful week!
    How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek….

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    5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

    Hello, Mom. Good morning! But if you think about it as a day of fun and learning, you will have so much energy and enthusiasm to wing whatever this day will drop in on you. Seize the day! Take your sweet time. Make sure that your hair is freshly washed and fabulously blown out. Did you know that every minute, a person posts a motivational or inspiring quote that they do not live by? So, is it, Mom? Oh, good morning, by the way! Trust me, Mom. When I woke up this morning, I really had no plans of being drop dead gorgeous, insanely witty, and hopelessly charming.
    We love to hear your comments about this post. Please leave a comment below, and let me know what you think!

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    A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you’re in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there’s a chance they won’t appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. “This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.” “Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven’t reached the Sorting Hat — it’s the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.” “Hello! You’ve gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back.”
    21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break 2. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering MachineMessages. 1.

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    (Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep

    As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.
    I like the NLP within the script. I also like how comfortable it is and how much you focus on being local as I am new to wholesaling and plan to focus where I live in person versus virtual.

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4. “What the hell do you want?” Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this.

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No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...

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About: Creative Voicemail Messages has free scripts for voicemails ranging from funny voicemail messages to professional voicemail greetings. Voicemail Messages. Creative - Cool and creative voicemails that you use for your cellphone. Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use.

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47. Hi, this is [name], [company]’s [job title]. I’m happy to help you with [task], but I’m currently away from my phone. Leave a quick message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can. Thanks!

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