"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
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C'mon. You can do it. Just a little one. That's the way. Just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon. Good boy. Here we go. Like this: beeeeep. Just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep. C'mon. There you go!
Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.A cute, thoughtful voicemail adds excitement to your boyfriend's day. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. From awful pickup lines to adorable puns, cheesy phrases make great messages for your guy. Take inspiration from popular memes and plays on words to create an original cheesy voicemail. Use a cute love quote to surprise your man with a sweet message or come up with your own creative idea.
Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.
Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look.
10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
Hello, you've reached 555-1552, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
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Laugh as you watch how Mr. Neeson’s fan got him to record a custom voicemail greeting here.
Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you! Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. What does your greeting have? Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality?
Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
Website: https://activerain.com/blogsview/392498/-free-voicemail-greetings-for-your-cell-phone
but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for but whatever you have to say to him, you can tell me. We're VERY close Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk. Bwana 'im big fella mek talkie-talk back real fas'.