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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

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Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it.
Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. .

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Website: https://www.macrynvoicegreetings.com/macryn-voicemail-greetings-sample-scripts/
This guy is looking to get rid of his "blackish white groundhog guinea pig" and wants us to come pick it up.

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Obviously, my dad always replied with "Hello, this is 555-6789, give us a call back when you can." Every time.
No49: This is the National Security Emergency Password Notification Network. To initiate destruct sequence, call the CIA with today's password. Today's password is BABY BOOTIES.

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Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller.

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14. Hi, you’ve reached [business name]. We can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, the next available team member will return your call as soon as possible.

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    Cell phone voicemail greetings are generally more personal and casual than office phones. Consider a greeting like “Hello, you’ve reached [your name]’s cell phone. I can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave a brief message, I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.”

    Voices.com connects you with over 200,000 voice talents. The artist will send you an audition and an estimated quote to complete the work. Once you listen to all auditions, you select your talent to begin the project.
    How to record or change your Android voicemail greeting in 10 simple steps. 1. Turn on your phone and launch the Phone app. Turn the power on for your phone. Then, tap the Phone app. 2. Open the dial pad. Tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen to bring up your phone's dial pad. 3.

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    Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner. Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages […]

    1. The Lever. A lever is a bit of information that shows you know what you’re talking about and how to leave a message in a way that convinces them this isn’t a cold call.
    A professional voicemail should be short and succinct. Simply introduce your company, ask the caller to leave their information, and let the caller know when to expect a callback. Once you record your greeting, you can easily upload it into the OpenPhone app. Simply go to your phone number’s settings, then choose to record a greeting, upload an mp3 file, or use text-to-speech.

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    No48: You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.

    10. "Hello, you've reached [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.
    Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for calling and I will call you back as soon as I’m back. Thanks for calling!”

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    What does your greeting have? Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality? Many times, when we call our friends, family members, or any other places, all we get is the voicemail. But when that message on the other side of the line is plain, it can really put someone off. You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again.

    – Thanks for calling. This is (name). Today is a Friday and I am working from our corporate office. If you need to reach me immediately, please call (number). Otherwise, please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.
    Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:

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No48: You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.

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But if you can’t get an actual answering machine or afford an assistant to do the job, you can try out the best answering machine apps for Android. They may not be perfect but they get the job done. Note: The best answering machine apps for Android were tested on a Vivo V9 smartphone. The apps worked OK, and there were no major problems faced during testing.

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20. "Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I'm out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker's name] at [email address]. They can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you."

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