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“This is Slappy McGee. Leave a brief message, telling me why you’re calling, and what’s in it for me. Unless you’re Boots, then DO NOT leave a message. I’m still trying to get rid of those fleas you gave me. Thanks a lot. Hashtag sarcasm.” 8. Tooth extraction “Did you get the part about the gravy?” Photo by Shutterstock

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Funny answering machine or voicemail messages to try. Posted by hotcrowd on August 6, 2009. Try a clever message for your phone. These are a hoot! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep. .

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No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, mostly on top. I like doing it left to right, very slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

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1. 1-603-413-4124: Calling Santa. Ever thought of reaching out to Santa months before the Christmas period? Well, this line allows you to talk to the man in charge of deciding who gets what for Christmas.
Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).

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I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep. Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the...

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It’s the way that people contact you when you are busy with other clients or customers, and cannot get to the phone. It is often the customers or clients first impression of your business or brand, you need to leave a great impression. The worst thing is for a first time caller, or even a returning customer, to get a short blurb like “Leave a message i’ll call you back”. Or, just a beep after the ring.

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    Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings

    No15: Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
    If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP. Thank you for calling 217-2962.

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    9. 212-479-7990: You have been rejected. You met an exciting new person, asked for their phone number, and got it. But when you called, it was not them on the line.

    Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/67458/Personal-vs-Business-Voicemail-Greetings
    You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments

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    8. Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I’ll be thinking about it…

    Save voicemail messages in just minutes. Download voicemails as mp3 or save to CD. Record voicemail messages before upgrading phones. Save voicemails from iPhone, Android, cell phones & landlines. Start Now.
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    You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!”

    While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey. Since (insert name) isn’t available at the moment to take your call, but will promptly return it should you decide to accept your mission and leave your name and number, we have a very important question to occupy you in the meantime. Why did the chicken cross the road? Voicemail Greetings For Vacation
    By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute.

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Sometimes you just can’t get to the phone and if it is an important business call coming from a client or customer, you want to

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No one wants to hear that they have been fired, but hey, it happens, and you’re...

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*Quick Tip* If you have your very own salon app, then make sure you mention that in your voicemail as well! For more ideas on salon app marketing, click here.

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