“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
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If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David.
8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.
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On Air Recordings recommends you order professional voicemail greetings through their site, then describe the tone, approach, or voice direction you’re going for.
Hey, who’s this? I’d actually pick up, but my phone is staring at me. OMG! I just saw it wink!
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Please read what the event is about. It is NOT about people asking questions on issues. It is about "How can Congress effectively use Facebook". :) Facebook DC Live: Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) | Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=105580199526052)
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No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
This guy calls to report a Water Buffalo that is stuck in a hole on Friday morning. This was odd as we seem to get most of our water buffalo calls over the weekend.
Company Our Story Careers Contact Privacy Copyright Terms and Conditions Product Features Pricing For your Industry Compare Support Download Community Blog Podcast Events Videos Salon Reopening Guide [email protected] +353 (0)1 8747800 Contact Us Please leave this field blank Name Last Name Email Address Phone Number Business Type Beauty Salon Hair Salon Hair & Beauty Salon Barber Medi-aesthetic Spa Mobile Other Number of Employees 20+ 10-19 5-9 3-4 0-2 Business Name Social Media or Website Link Please leave this field blank I agree to receive free tips on salon management.
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3. “Ooooooh, its a lady.” If its a lady on the other end, then yell “oooooh its a lady”! That lady will surely get a good laugh.
We know that the only way to live a blessed and happy life is to live out the Golden Rule. And we know that manners (from the Latin word for hand…how to handle something) give us mutually agreed upon best practices for putting the Golden Rule into practice in our everyday encounters. They also help us know what to expect from one another and set gracious boundaries.
Hey Jake, if I wanted to email you, I would’ve emailed you. It’s not like I forgot email existed until I heard your voice mail greeting and thought “Holy crap! TOTALLY forgot about that whole email thing! Let me hang up on this phone call and waste another 5 minutes sending you an email that would have taken me 20 seconds to speak.”
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I’d like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people love to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings. So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old hand at the game.
This call is from a woman that is calling to ask us to go investigate a strange situation with her neighbor. Apparently her neighbor has attached a tiller to the family dog and is making the dog drag it around to rake leaves?
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CraftJack can connect you to homeowners and help you grow your customer network. Follow us for expert guidance on how you can find and better manage new leads.
Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Short - Voicemail greetings that are quick and get straight to the point.
The right way to leave your phone number is to start saying your phone number with your area code and then take a 2-3 second pause while the person listening to your voicemail message gets a pen and paper. Then, continue with the next 3 digits, make another 2 second pause, and then say the last 4 digits. Then, slowly repeat your phone number again.
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25. Hello, you’ve reached [your name], [job title] at [business name]. I’m sorry to have missed your call. Please leave your name, contact information, and reason for calling so I can get back to you promptly.
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Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. 😀
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5. Delay Announcement. What the caller hears every two minutes that they are in the waiting queue. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for your patience. All of our agents are still busy.
“Hi, you’ve reached [XYZ Company]. We can’t take your call right now but feel free to call back during business hours from [hour] to [hour], Monday through Friday. In case of an urgent query, you can contact us through our website [URL] and access our live chat.
Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.A cute, thoughtful voicemail adds excitement to your boyfriend's day. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. From awful pickup lines to adorable puns, cheesy phrases make great messages for your guy. Take inspiration from popular memes and plays on words to create an original cheesy voicemail. Use a cute love quote to surprise your man with a sweet message or come up with your own creative idea.
A good cell phone voice mail greeting is clear, courteous and to the point. Enunciate, don't mumble, to make it as easy as possible for those with poor hearing or bad connections to be able to hear your greeting. Be polite, and save swearing for the conversation, if applicable.
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"
Not funny at all. More obnoxious then anything! I just hate those voice mails asking ME to call them back because they have “questions”. Got one yesterday… Bob, this is __________ I have a few questions, please call me at XXX_XXX_XXXX… and then when you call it’s a flipping company that knows NOTHING about what I do or even that they called me in the first place. Don’t know about you but I’m rather protective of my phone time. And yes, they could use a dose of Art & Sam’s seminar… Hey one in Phoenix in a couple weeks
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6. The number you have dialed is powered off. Okay, so I have also said this over the phone numerous times. It just sounds one of the funniest ways to answer the phone.
This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
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Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers:.
Website: https://www.mightycall.com/blog/the-best-services-to-record-a-voicemail-greeting-for-business/
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"Hello. No one's home and the answering machine isn't working. This is the refrigerator. Please leave your message with me and I'll stick it to myself with this magnet. Thank you." MacRumors attracts a broad audience of both consumers and professionals interested in the latest technologies and products. We also boast an active community focused on purchasing decisions and technical aspects of the iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Mac platforms.
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We know that the only way to live a blessed and happy life is to live out the Golden Rule. And we know that manners (from the Latin word for hand…how to handle something) give us mutually agreed upon best practices for putting the Golden Rule into practice in our everyday encounters. They also help us know what to expect from one another and set gracious boundaries.
All companies should have professional voicemail greetings. It’s important that all voicemails are professionally-read and sound consistent across each department. This provides the caller with an elevated experience, setting them up for success on every customer interaction.
48. Hello, you’ve reached [name] at [company name]. If you need help with [X reason], please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website at X and send us an email]. For all other inquiries, please leave your name, phone number, and a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
29. Hi, this is [your name] at [X company]. I am on vacation right now and won’t be back to the office until [X date]! Please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I will get back to you then. Alternatively, you can phone [Name] at [phone contact information]. Thank you for calling!
10. Hello, you’ve reached [your company]. We’re sorry to have missed your call. Please leave a brief message including your name, number, and reason for calling and a member of our team will get back to you within one business day.
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Manners Mentor exists to spread the word and to update continually the manners we’re using so that they make sense for our modern sensibilities. They’re never stuffy. They’re always simple, savvy, and sincere so that you can be authentically you…at your best! Join the Manners Mentor Movement by subscribing to receive posts in your inbox so that you’ll always be in the loop!
CraftJack can connect you to homeowners and help you grow your customer network. Follow us for expert guidance on how you can find and better manage new leads.
7. Scream like a Madman, then answers: “sorry for the interruption.” Okay, so you might want to take precautions in this because you can only say these crazy things to your close friends.
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Our funny voice mail greetings are uploadable to any voicemail system or answering machine you can call into to change your greeting, so you can have a funny voice greeting on your cell phone or home phone! (Click Here to Learn How) All voice greetings are delivered at the time of purchase in a .zip file containing a .wav file, an .mp3 file
Out of town? Your callers should know. Let them know with the following vacation voicemail greetings.
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Funny Voicemail Greetings This isn’t a joke. At any rate, it is authentic! Two or three clients genuinely feel they’re disregarded when their voice message goes straight for voice message. Voice message personalization grants you to stay away from the contrary energies. It is commonsense to make entrancing phone messages great good tidings
Download Ebook Funny Answering Machine Messages Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages. In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world's first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in 1960, the Ansafone, created by
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Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
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Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings.
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There have been some changes in the Life Stages section involving the following forums: Roaring 20s, Terrific Thirties, Fabulous Forties, and Golden Eagles. They are changed to Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Golden Eagles will have a slight change.
