Phone Solicitor Discouragement: The Long-Winded Voicemail Message. November 12, 2014. November 12, 2014 by funny. By pure, ridiculous serendipity, I found a way to almost bring a stop to phone solicitor calls, a major nuisance for dinosaurs who wish to hang onto their land lines.
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Who is this?! How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
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2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow.
Description: Funny Answering Machine Messages. Free ringtones download to cell phone for free. High quality ringtones. Set ringtone as phone call. Free Ring Tones. Quality: MP3 128 Kbps, 16 bit / 44.100 khz Duration: 00:21 sec Audio Size: 345 Kb Licence: The sound is licensed under “private use only” theme songs | music ringtones | message tones | movie ringtones | old phone ringtones | instrumental ringtones | sfx | funny ringtones | star wars ringtones | scary ringtones Next story Salut d’amour Ringtone Previous story Prison Break Theme Song You may also like...
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Obviously the women had taken umbrage to his crashing into them and the rest of this street gang then jumped out of the car; continuing their assault:
Voicemail Greeting Sample Scripts Voicemail messages complete your professional image. Whether you are using your cell phone as a mobile office or desire a unified sound for all of your employees, voicemail greetings recorded by a professional voice over talent provide the missing element.
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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back.
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32. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. Our office is currently closed until [X date]. Please leave us your name and number, and our team will get back to you as soon as possible. Enjoy [X holiday].
5. The Serious Greeting. I’m going into hibernation for a few months. For more updates, check my Facebook page. Hello, to reach the person you are calling, please say the password.
A formal voicemail greeting is one with a professional tone. It could be for a business or for personal reasons. Formal voicemail greetings are designed to impart a sense of authenticity. They leave the caller with a sense of trust in your abilities, whatever they may be.
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The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA!
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If you have a knack for mimicry or talking with different accents, then recording voicemail messages with the distinctive voices of politicians, actors, or actresses can also be fun. It can also be quite funny to make a reference to something that sounds like something else and then deliver a punch line. For example, you could say, "Mark and I are doing something that we can't get enough of, so we can't pick up the phone right now. So, please leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll give you a call." You might also Like Recommended Post your comments Please enter the following code: Login: Forgot password? Register:
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Yes, you can be charged. This depends on the service. For example, Spectrum’s Voice Residential Services Price Guide charges $3.95 for voicemail.
You’ll find the subscribe box below this and every post. Become part of the Manners Mentor Movement! Filed Under:Business Calls Calling, Texting, & More Calling, Texting, & Technology Personal PolishAbout Maralee McKee
Cats don’t enjoy following anyone’s rules. They want everything on their own terms — total rebels. If they had their own phones and could speak like humans (stay with me), they’d definitely screen their calls, because they want to be the ones to decide when they chat with others. And no one would tell them what to say in their voicemail greetings, either. Guidelines are for suckers.
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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
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There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls. A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them.
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If it works better for you, offer your callers the option to email you, or even send over a text to a VoIP texting app, or even your personal number if you don’t mind. Many people will prefer the ability to quickly text or email, and callers will appreciate the increased level of service.
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24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.
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Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.
You want to know why? So leave a message at the beep. Hi…You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills. Have a great day! The number you have reached is currently not in service, but when I wake up and turn my phone back on, it will be! If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2.
You may hold or leave a message at the beep. Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published.
This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now.
A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't... 5 Steps to Creating an Audio eGreeting Card December 06, 2011 Juli Durante marketing, tips, greetings
35. Hello, we’re wishing you all a happy [X holiday]. Our office is currently closed so our employees can celebrate with their loved ones. Please leave your name, number, and reason for calling and a member of our team will return your call when we reopen on [X date].
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ProfileFriendsGroupsDiscussionsCommentsReading ChallengeKindle Notes & HighlightsQuotesFavorite genresFriends’ recommendationsAccount settingsHelpSign out Start by marking “No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages” as Want to Read: We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi. Problem: It’s the wrong book It’s the wrong edition Other Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi liked it 3.00 · Rating details · 3 ratings · 1 review Published March 28th 1984 by CCC Publications (first published March 1984) 0918259002 (ISBN13: 9780918259004) To ask other readers questions about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages, please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list » Aug 02, 2014 Kelly rated it liked it I like this book. Great, snarky answering machine messages. There's something so special about each class of debut YA authors; after all, young adult fiction is all about the hopefulness of new... Company About us Careers Terms Privacy Interest Based Ads Ad Preferences Help AirPods AirPods Max AirPods Pro Apple Car Apple Deals Apple Glasses Apple Pay Apple Pro Display XDR Apple TV Apple Watch SE Apple Watch Series 7 CarPlay HomePod HomePod mini iMac iOS 14 iOS 15 iPad iPad Air iPad mini iPad Pro iPadOS 14 iPadOS 15 iPhone 11 iPhone 12 iPhone 13 iPhone 13 Pro iPhone 14 iPhone SE 2020 iPod touch Mac mini Mac Pro MacBook Air MacBook Pro 13" MacBook Pro 16" macOS Big Sur macOS Monterey watchOS 7 watchOS 8 Home New Posts Forum List Trending New Threads New Media Spy New posts WikiPost Latest summaries Watched WikiPosts Support FAQ and Rules Contact Us Thread starter patrick0brien Start date Jun 14, 2006 Sort by reaction score
My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.
You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith.
Since you are recording audio, make sure you are in a silent place or a place with minimum background noise. This will help you create a perfect business voicemail greeting clear.
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You should script out your greetings, rehearse, and find a tone of voice that is reflective of your professionalism and your company’s personality. If applicable, your tone and your message should take into account that certain industries and companies are more conservative than others.
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No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
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Voicemail greeting: "Hi. I'm probably home but avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message after the beep. If I don't call back it was you." Menu No categories 7 Funniest Voicemail Greetings That Will Make You Chuckle The Team 5 years ago No Comments Next '
Funny Examples pre recorded answering machine messages free Voicemail Messages These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, answeriing leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future.
Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping.
2. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s voicemail box. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your contact information I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.
“Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name], [your job title]. I’m currently either away from my desk or on the other line. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a short message after the beep, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I’m available.”
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Good day. You’ve reached the residence of the O’Meara family on 5th and Oak. We regret not being able to attend to your call. However, if you choose to, you may leave your contact information at the tone, and we shall be most happy to return your call as soon as we are able. Thank you for your call. Include the name of the individual, family or business State you are sorry you cannot get to the phone Ask them to leave their contact information behind Thank them for their call Informal Voicemail Greetings
The best text-to-speech voices don't sound robotic at all. Do a "text to speech" search in Google to explore your options. Type in your script and presto! You'll get an instant greeting with a natural sounding voice. You can select from a broad spectrum of male & female voices with any local or foreign accent you choose. LinkedPhone offers text-to-speech built right into our software. It's super popular and our users love it!
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These are very funny and interesting conversations. I did not know before an answering app or machine can answer so funny.
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38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.
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I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."
Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.
I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).
“Hi there. This is (name) speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number, and I’ll be thinking about it…”
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5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.
I love my job because [XYZ company] is the best place to work at. Please leave your full name, contact info, number and other details and I’ll call back within 24 hours! Thanks a bunch.”
Using poems, rhymes, or creating rap songs is another way to leave funny voicemail messages. Twisting any popular poem or rapping an altered nursery rhyme can be a fun way to stamp your personality on a voicemail, for example, "Now I lay me down to sleep — please leave your SOS at the beep" or "Roses are red, violets are blue, if you leave a message, I'll ..." Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer.
That's why you have to put a little "you" when it comes to voicemail ".The best part of all of this is because you can't make a phone call and at least the person who makes the call is happy to listen to the information.What is your greeting?Is it automated or are you personalized to suit your personality?Many times when we call our friends, family or any other place, all we get is voice mail.
At OpenPhone, we used Fiverr and definitely recommend this service. It was quick, affordable, and got the job done. For our project, it took over 36 hours of work between submitting the script and getting the final result. The cost was roughly $115 for the final project.
With a good voicemail message that lets people know who you are and what they need to do to contact you, you can return the
