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You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"

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“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
If you have a knack for mimicry or talking with different accents, then recording voicemail messages with the distinctive voices of politicians, actors, or actresses can also be fun. It can also be quite funny to make a reference to something that sounds like something else and then deliver a punch line. For example, you could say, "Mark and I are doing something that we can't get enough of, so we can't pick up the phone right now. So, please leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll give you a call." You might also Like Recommended Post your comments Please enter the following code: Login: Forgot password? Register: .

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5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.
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best professional voicemail greetings

Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____.
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Hi this is ____'s machine. My name is (pause) well that's not important. Ya know it gets very lonely being here all day. Maybe you could stay and talk. Please talk to me after the beep, please talk to me after the beep.

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“Holiday voicemail greeting is the perfect opportunity to personalize the usually neutral corporate communication.” 9 scripts for holiday voicemail greetings. Below we have listed several ideas for great voicemail messages, depending on your company’s needs. 1. Happy [X holiday]! You’ve reached [ …

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    I totally get it… I've been there, and always appreciate finding an “easy button” or shortcut myself. If it'll save me (i) time, (ii) pain or (iii) the trial-and-error of making or finding it myself, then I'm in.

    Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it.
    funny voicemail greetings audio is free HD wallpaper was upload by Admin. Download this image for free in HD resolution the choice "download button" below. If you do not find the exact resolution you are looking for, then go for a native or higher resolution.

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    Be innocent and coy one time, and more in-your-face with the next voice note. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! By Michele Meleen Counselor. Cute Messages. Going to voicemail doesn't need to make you stop in your tracks and panic.Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting?

    Funny Answering Machine MessagesFunny Answering machine messages, excuses for being away from the phone, and phone pranks! Location: Clean Jokes > Answering machine messages Machine related Answering message 01 Answering message 03 Answering message 05 Answering message 07 Answering message 09 Answering message 11 Answering message 13 Answering message 15 Answering message 17 Answering message 19 Answering message 21 Answering message 23 Answering message 25 Answering message 27 Answering message 29 Answering message 31 Answering message 33 Answering message 35 Answering message 37 Answering message 32 Answering message 34 Answering message 36 Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages. Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms.
    09 Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.

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    Wondering what to say in your business voicemail greetings? Read on to learn how to record a good voicemail that is professional (or funny) to encourage callers to leave a message.

    However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. The new number is Yes, same number.
    My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

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    As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone, the telephone is next to an answering machine. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine. You hear a beep.

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    2. Hello you’ve reached Matt Grech, I’ll be out of the office for the next few days due to the holidays. Feel free to leave a message, or you can shoot me an email at Matt@GetVoIP if something urgent pops up. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return to the office. Happy holidays!

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how do i put a voice message on my phone

-Hello, this is ________. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?

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So leave a message at the beep. Hi…You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser. You must have JavaScript enabled in your browser to utilize the functionality of this website. There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls.

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Phone scripts can be answered by button-dialing or voice response. With a button-dialing system, the caller will press one of the number keys to input their response. With an IVR system, callers can speak to the system to initiate commands and submit answers.

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