I’ve assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown. Book a free demo Request a quote
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"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
Hi there! You’ve reached the domicile of Blackmore Enterprises [Horn Honk]. We’re sorry to have missed your call, but there’s only so many hours in the day where one has the chance to gut a zombie, or nail a corpse to a tree. As such, please leave your name, contact information, and message, and we’ll try to get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks much for your call. Leave your personal name or business name Say you’re sorry you missed the call Ask them to leave their contact information and message Thank them for their call
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-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
I love the thought process and NLP language put into the script. Very smart & clever!
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6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you."
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Cash Me Outside. Donald Trump - Donate to the Wall. Thank You For Holding. Hillary - Delete My Emails. Pokemon Go.
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If done tastefully, you can promote your products or services on your voicemail greeting without sounding pushy. In fact, it’s a great way to keep customers up-to-date on company events, sales, and other news. Be sure to keep it short and have fun with it.
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We could be in, we could be out. You could leave us a message and later find out.
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I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
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Some phone systems require the recording to be on a mp3 or wav file, and some you just have to record the greeting right into your phone. This last way is likely one you have tried already. Use the link here to find a FREE voicemail greetings for business. These are scripts you can modify for your use.
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Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience. A self-proclaimed “first fan ever,” politely asked Liam on The Graham Norton Show to record her voicemail message greeting. Being the great guy that he is, the star humbly complied but added a fun and unexpected close to the recording.
C'mon. You can do it. Just a little one. That's the way. Just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon. Good boy. Here we go. Like this: beeeeep. Just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep. C'mon. There you go!
Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/
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A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message.
Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail …
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funny voicemail greetings
Jodi R.R. Smith from Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting and author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman and From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Man agrees that veterinary medicine is a profession where phone calls remain important and necessary. If you need to leave a voice mail message for a client, Smith offers these ideas on how to make the most of your message.
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Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag.
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Last night, as I was getting ready to cook dinner, I received a mysterious phone call from a number I didn't recognize and I naturally let it go to voicemail. Surprisingly the mystery caller did leave a voice message and several minutes later I got this text. To eliminate all possibilities I proceeded to listen to the voicemail and ensure it was indeed someone important to me. It was both of my parents(they like to put me on speakerphone so they can talk to me simultaneously) informing me of my Dad's new cellular device.
funny voicemail greetings ideas
A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit. Ellen DeGeneres did just that when she asked Adele for a little favor; to sing a little ditty inspired by the number one song, “Hello.”
09 Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.
Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:
Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.
Creative and funny voicemail messages are great for less formal businesses but may be inappropriate for formal ones. However, if creativity is part of your job description, be sure to sprinkle a dash into your voicemail. Check out these creative and funny voicemail greetings. Top …
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5. Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
And my cousin, she's a real girly-girl and you can actually tell from her voice and all she says in her voicemail greeting is:
Use These Funny Messages To Customise Your Mobile Phone Voicemail. Or Use Them On Your Answer Machine At Home. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service. Consult your network manual for detailed information on changing your
No7: You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Leave a message at the beep.
greetings examples of good voicemail greeting when i return your voice mail is currently closed for all. Every business aims for client satisfaction; however, busy schedules can often healthcare business professionals with air time must attend and every single client need. Sample Answering Machine Scripts Seven Best Voicemail Greetings for Your.
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No40: Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
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Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message.
You just can’t usually solution the phone and contacting 15 periods isn’t aiding. Deliver a textual content or depart a voicemail. • initial On #advice #randomfacts #fun #giggle More
It is not only important to know how to script voicemail messages for the office but also for your residence. Many people tend to opt for greetings that are funny because the calls that you get on your phone at home are from friends and family. But if you run a business from home and do not have a separate number for the same, then it may be a good idea to stick to something slightly more generic. You can go with very general message like, Hello, I cannot come to the phone right now, but leave your name and number after the beep, and I will call you back. If you still want to opt for some voice mail messages that are funny, then take a look at the examples below. Hey, I wish I could receive your call right now but you see I am trying to do many things that cannot be done while talking on the phone. Leave your name and number and I will call back. I am sure you thought I was going to answer your call. Well, I am not. Leave me a motivational message and I just may be inspired to call you back. Mom, Dad, I love you and was thinking that for your convenience it would be easier if I had a cellular phone. What do you think about an early birthday present? The worst thing about voicemail messages is that they waste your time with long messages when all you need to say is, Leave a message, we will call back. That is why I have decided to make mine short so that no caller has to suffer listening to long answering machine messages. Bye.
Oh, and if you’re looking for extra marketing resources, grab your FREE copy of The Beauty & Hair Salon Owners Ultimate Guide To Facebook today! Label {} [+] Name* Email* Website Oldest Newest Zoé Bélisle-Springer is an award-winning writer, author of various ebooks, podcaster and speaker known for their contributions to inspiring materials destined for the salon community. They have been featured in SalonEVO, Salon Today, Professional Beauty UK, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Future Of Everything and spoken at conferences such as Modern Salon’s Digital Summit, the Thrive Sessions, Seattle Interactive and Uppercase. As Phorest Salon Software’s Community & Content Manager, they are responsible for the planning and execution of localised audio and written content as well as driving community engagement leading to collaborative course content, mentorship programs and online/on-demand video content. See all articles by Zoé Bélisle-Springer Over the last few decades, the price of living has gone up, and customers’ habits have changed. In the hair and beauty industry, there’s still quite a bit of fear […] For a couple of years now, December also means Spotify users, artists and podcasters get their “Spotify Wrapped” or year in review. This year on Phorest FM, we produced over […] Brand & PR / Sales & Marketing “The beauty industry is a different beast!” That’s what my boss used to tell me when I worked at Urban Retreat. From hairdressers to medispa and beauty, this business had […] Book a free demo Request a quote
I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
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George is a little different considering he won’t have eager leads calling him about a remodeling project, however, there are certain lessons we can all take from his funny voicemail.
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world's first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
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Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
Wrap up with a call to action, an explicit call to action again speaking to their subconscious mind. So here's what you have to do next. Take a moment, leave me a message with your name, phone number twice, including your area code, the address of the property you're thinking of selling, your asking price. A lot of people don't like to include that because they don't want the seller fixating on a price. I like to know what's on their mind if they even have a starting point. You noticed, I don't say what you're asking, what, what you need to get for the property, because I'm probably not going to be able to offer them their asking price, but I'd like to know what, if anything, they have in mind.
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“Hey there! This is [name] at [XYZ company]. Thank you for calling. I can’t take your call right now but if you leave your name, contact info and reason for calling, I’ll call you back right away. Take care and speak with you soon!”
The general voicemail greeting is used as the default voicemail greeting if you don't set any other greeting type. Occasionally, during events like power outages, even if you've set another greeting, your personalized programming might be wiped out. Or you might simply forget to change the greeting after returning from vacation.
Hello! This is [Nick on the West Coast Sales Team at LinkedPhone]. I am currently on vacation until [Friday, April 22nd] with limited access to email. If you require urgent assistance, please contact my lieutenant [Harold Kisp at 415-555-1212 or [email protected]]. Otherwise, please leave a message and I will return your call when I’m back in the office. Thank you and I look forward to chatting!
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Categories Additional Voicemail Scripts Business Voicemail Greetings Download the Rate Price PDF Free Voicemail Greeting Scripts General How do I create a custom voicemail greeting? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my Android phone? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my iPhone? Mailbox Greetings On-Hold Messages Welcome Messages What is a good business voicemail greeting?
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As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.
7. Scream like a Madman, then answers: “sorry for the interruption.” Okay, so you might want to take precautions in this because you can only say these crazy things to your close friends.
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.
7. Hello, this is [your name] at [your company]. I’m currently out of the office, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I’ll return your call as soon as I get back.
The Israelis make sure that they remain the only victims. — Suad Amiry One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.'
