funny voicemail answering messages
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professional voicemail greetings for your cell phone

Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?

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So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk.
3. The Musical Greetings. (To the tune of Barney the Dinosaur’s “I Love You”) I called you, you called me, we are a calling family, apparently. Leave a message! .

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Out Now: ‘Collection of SaGa: Final Fantasy Legend’, ‘Pokemon UNITE’, ‘Indies’ Lies’, ‘The Lord of the Rings: Rise to War’, ‘Project ICHR’, ‘Unholy Society’ and More
I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'

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A professional voicemail greeting is a recorded message that welcomes callers to your business when no one is available to pick up the call. For a polished call experience, the greeting should reflect who the client is calling – whether a general business number, department, team, or individual – and when the customer can expect the call to be returned.
You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!”

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“Hello. *your name*’s answering machine is broken; this is his/her refrigerator. You can leave a message, but please say it really slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.”

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16Hey, could you come up with some cute voicemail greetings, I’m out. Can you just leave your suggestion, after the tone? This voicemail engages your caller, challenging them to come up with funny voicemail messages, while they wait to leave their messages after the tone.

  • fun business voicemail greetings

    Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message.

    Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
    Now, here's where the embedded commands begin. I don't know if you've ever heard of Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. I'm no Ninja at it, but I've learned a little bit about it through the years and if you can embed commands that aren't direct commands, not explicit, I'm commanding you to do this, but a subtle statement of a thing that embeds as a command to your subconscious mind, it can have an influencing effect on the other person.

  • how to end a voice message

    My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.

    1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I am currently away from my desk. Please leave your complete name, contact number and short message after beep and I will be sure to get back to you the time I am available. 2. Good morning. You have reached (company name or office name) of (name).
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  • greeting without time

    No36: Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks. No37: I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.

    5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].
    #6 [automated robot] “The number you have reached, 717-555-9406, is not available. Please leave a message at the beep.” [/automated robot]

  • non professional voicemail greetings

    This guy is looking to get rid of his "blackish white groundhog guinea pig" and wants us to come pick it up.

    10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.
    No31: I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person.

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If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say.

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18. Hello, you’ve reached the voicemail box for [employee name] at [company name]. [Employee first name] has moved onto a different position, but our new [job title, employee name] will be happy to assist you. Please call [number, extension] or leave a message here and a representative will get back to you.

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Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further post thank you once again.

Contact Us

If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.

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