24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"
Website: https://funny-about-money.com/phone-solicitor-discouragement-the-long-winded-voicemail-message/
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Hello. You have reached [Name]. I apologize for not being able to answer your call at the moment. However, if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I’ll make sure to contact you when I return.
I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on
"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
“Hi, you know who you called; leave a message, maybe they’ll call you back. Then again, maybe they won’t. That’s how life is. Point is, you’ve done what you can. Have a nice day.”
I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
While listening to Jimmy’s voicemail our hearts raced as we heard of how the man lay on the ground, apparently unable to get up as they continued to knock ten lumps of chocolate out of him.
I bet you’re not anything close to a “babbling idiot” when leaving a voicemail, but I understand, and until I put the following practices into everyday use, I too felt like I wasn’t showcasing my best self when leaving messages.
6. Pre-Recorded Message Playback. The Perfect Single Businessperson Solution. One Mailbox That Can Transfer Your Callers To Any Phone Of Yours, As Well As Voicemail And Fax To Email.
A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you’re in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there’s a chance they won’t appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. “This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.” “Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven’t reached the Sorting Hat — it’s the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.” “Hello! You’ve gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back.”
-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.
In this post, I’ll share what makes a good voicemail greeting — and the best voicemail greeting scripts you can use.
Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.
Have a positive attitude while recording your voicemail greeting — it will carry through in your voice. If you find it difficult to convey positivity over a phone system, try smiling while you’re recording. (We promise, you will hear a difference.)
Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder.