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Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.

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Hello, this is the Computer Music Research Institute of Portland, Oregon. We can't take your call at the moment, but we would like you to leave a critique of one of our current works in progress.
No17: Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. .

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If you still have this for a greeting, you might be interested to know that your friends hate you.
All in all, when you create an unexpected experience, people not only remember it, but also talk about it.

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Jimmy pulled over while on his way to Dallas to give his friend Mark a call. Alas Mark didn’t answer so Jimmy decides to leave him a voicemail.
Funny Videos, Pranks, Answering machine messages, pictures, signs, cartoons. Funny Answering Machine Messages. Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. Click Here To Listen to the All New Computer Generated Messages.

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The moral of the story? Don’t trust old ladies! They’re armed and dangerous and should you see one please contact your local Garda Station.

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    Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him. One of Mr. Stewart’s most identifiable trademarks, the slow and stammering way he delivered lines, brings forward a hilarious way to tell your callers to leave a message.
    "SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep."

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    Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner.

    Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!
    3. Stammer-Filled Voicemail Greeting from Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him.

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    This all happened a few years but we’d somehow never heard it before until the voicemail started doing the rounds on Twitter again recently. Have a listen to it in full here. 14 things we learned from Ladybird books> 9 tiny things that drive you completely MAD> Mark Farrelly [email protected] Send a Correction 600px wide 400px wide 300px wide Email “Amazing voicemail describes old ladies beating man with umbrella”. Please select the reason for reporting this comment. Please select your reason for reporting... It contains offensive language, is hateful or incites violence It contains a libellous/defamatory statement Some other reason... Please give full details of the problem with the comment... ∞ About Us About Us We're Hiring! Contact Us Advertise With Us The Journal FactCheck Follow Us Twitter Facebook Corrections Report Content Policies Terms of Use Cookies & Privacy Advertising Comments Copyright Competition Content copyright © Journal Media Ltd. 2021 Registered in Dublin, registration number: 483623. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. TheJournal.ie supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. You can obtain a copy of the Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: [email protected]

    I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'
    "SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep."

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    This call is from a woman that is calling to ask us to go investigate a strange situation with her neighbor. Apparently her neighbor has attached a tiller to the family dog and is making the dog drag it around to rake leaves?

    No18: I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
    Seems a bit long but should definitely screen out those not truly interested and there’s always the option to press #. I’m going to split test this with my next mailing.

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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....

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Laugh as you watch how Mr. Neeson’s fan got him to record a custom voicemail greeting here.

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If you still have this for a greeting, you might be interested to know that your friends hate you.

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Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …

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