ALSO also, to answer the glaring question: Should you even have seller calls handled by voicemail rather than live answered? (my opinion and thoughts on this may surprise you).
Other jokes and witty lines can be recorded for your callers that may bewilder a silence after the tone, or you might get to hear laughs that started before the beep, or you might throw someone off into the old routine of “What?…Hello?…Are you–Is this?…Am I leaving a message?” But you want fresh ideas. You can borrow mine to entertain your callers. Let me know their reactions. This one sounds like you are a corporation that has several operators who are busy with a large volume of calls. Includes elevator muzak and sound effects. Welcome. Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are busy. Please hold for the next available operator. (Music) Our operators are still busy. Please stay on the line while your call is being transferred to the Voice recording database. (connection) Infomercial that sells your messages in a rushed and enthusiastic manner. Borrowed the “complicated payment” from Mitch Hedburg.
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Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected]]. Otherwise, please leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we return. We value your call. Thank you from everyone at [LinkedPhone].
I’ve assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown. Book a free demo Request a quote
You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
No7: You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”
No11: "You have called 655-9229. If you are my mom, I will write you as soon as I can, I promise. If you are my son, sorry, I am broke too. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone. If you are a salesman...FORGET IT." No12: This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
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Woman Breaks Down How To Shut Down Men Asking For Your Number With Fake Voicemail - FAIL Blog - Funny Fails
37. Hi, this is [company name]. Sorry we missed your call. Leave a message and we’ll get back to you shortly.
Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.
There are many businesses that operate online or even brick and mortar, that have business voicemail lines that are only there to direct customers and Away from the phone Free voicemail message scripts and demos
I can't come to the phone now. So if, well, actually, I can come to the phone now. I mean, like, I'm at the phone now, recording this message, but I'm doing this now, while you're listening to it later. Except for you I guess it's now, like, when you're listening to it. I mean, like, wait.
I've assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown.
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
Woman Breaks Down How To Shut Down Men Asking For Your Number With Fake Voicemail