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Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____.

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Click on the name of the website to access the page dedicated to entertaining voicemail messages. .

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5. Business Answering Service Messages. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone.
With my cell phone in my hand and her watching her show. I asked her if she could get me a beer and she said no. Then her cell phone rang in the kitchen and she quickly got up to see what it was. My message said while you're in the kitchen can you get me a beer. I don't remember the rest

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If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.

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    You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments

    The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages – Pure-Essence.Net
    Categories Additional Voicemail Scripts Business Voicemail Greetings Download the Rate Price PDF Free Voicemail Greeting Scripts General How do I create a custom voicemail greeting? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my Android phone? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my iPhone? Mailbox Greetings On-Hold Messages Welcome Messages What is a good business voicemail greeting?

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    Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.

    Hi. This is [Name] from [Business Name]. We are currently involved in a relocation. Our new office will be open for business on March 21st, 8 am to 9 pm, Central Standard Time. You may contact us at that time at 555-555-2343. Thank you for your call.
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    This is funny! I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

    Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/2019/03/funny-answering-machine-greetings-mp3.html
    9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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    If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid.The difference between a good morning and a bad morning is oftentimes the first message that you receive in the morning. If you want a fail-safe message that could work on the most important people in your lifelike your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or even your parents, you can always take the light and humorous approach.

    Website: https://talkroute.com/12-fun-professional-business-voicemail-greetings/
    Andy Warhol said that one day everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Well, your 15 minutes was last week, but since you weren't ready, we gave it to Vanna White. Sorry.

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3. Call your voicemail system. Call your voicemail account by typing in its phone number with the keys on the dial pad, and then pressing the green Call button.

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Voicemails and answering machines were particularly en vogue in the '90s hip-hop world. Pitchfork wrote this excellent guide to voicemail templates in …

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7. A Classic Hepburn Answering Greeting for Voicemails. Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting.

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