HA HA HA! That was my mom's answering machine for most of my high school years!! I Loved it! The A is for... one was my boyfriends when he lived in the dorms but thankfully it's normal now! lol did you hear about the lady who was a big Tom Selleck fan ? she taped a scene from magnum which had his answering mahine on in it and used it for her machine. imagine getting Tom Selleck s voice when you called home. I do think it is kind of creepy to hear a dead person s voice because the survirors can t bear to erase the tape. i totally need to change my answering machine msg and im definately gonna use one of those!! lol those cracked me up!!! - would consider changing my message to the hynosis one. hi, i'm not here right now to talk with you. in the meantime, while you wait for my return, you can strip naked and run around in the streets yelling "buga buga buga". it won't make me respond sooner, but there will be some nice folks wearing white coats who will be happy to talk to you. Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Forums > Leisure and Society > Hobbies, Interests & Entertainment > Clean/Christian Jokes > A Whipp Media Site Contact Us Help Home Terms and Christian Forum Rules Privacy Policy
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Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.
However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
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http://www.ezrasvoice.com/ Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings can easily be created using this blueprint. While all Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings will be uniq
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MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses. With simple, visually-based call flows, adapting your voicemail messages for different customers and even different times of day demands no tech knowledge and no hardware. Try MightyCall’s business phone system free for 7 days, or book a live demo today.
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I am willing to bet that every man and woman on that subway went and told their friends about that experience. The same idea goes for a voicemail greeting. If you come up with a funny and memorable voicemail greeting, people will share their experience with their friends and family, further enhancing your word of mouth.
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21. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m not much of a phone person, so don’t bother leaving a message. Send me an email at [email address] and I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.
No10: (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP
Practice your spiel so you can speak with authority. This lets the caller know how confident, qualified, and prepared you are. The goal is to sound like you’ve been doing this for years, not a few minutes.
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Now, here's where the embedded commands begin. I don't know if you've ever heard of Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. I'm no Ninja at it, but I've learned a little bit about it through the years and if you can embed commands that aren't direct commands, not explicit, I'm commanding you to do this, but a subtle statement of a thing that embeds as a command to your subconscious mind, it can have an influencing effect on the other person.
5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.
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“Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. I’m unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,’ ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,’ ‘convert 40% more customers.’] Leave your name and number, and we’ll discuss how your company can see similar results.” “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I’ll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it’s not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day.” “Hey, this is [your name]. If you’re calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I’ll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].” “Hello, you’ve reached [name] at company. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I’ll return your call as soon as I’m free. Thank you.”
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Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.
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On the other hand, a stellar professional voicemail is more than just a way to ensure callers are heard. It’s actually a gateway to encourage recruiters, clients, connections, venders, and other callers to continue forward with the first step in developing a business relationship, which is them making contact. The power of the right voicemail greeting is the caller actually staying on the line to leave that contact information or gain access to an alternative contact point.
You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval.
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While listening to Jimmy’s voicemail our hearts raced as we heard of how the man lay on the ground, apparently unable to get up as they continued to knock ten lumps of chocolate out of him.
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Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. Hi, this is [ your name ]. I’m sorry, I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone …
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We’re keeping it simple with this one. Just a few basic elements to help you get started. As long as you know who your audience is, the message you wish to convey, and the information you need from the caller, the rest should fall into place quite nicely. Let’s face it, a voicemail greeting for a lumber company will probably be different than that of a psychologist’s office. One greeting is aimed at securing potential customers, and the other is geared towards appointments, more or less. Once you are certain who your caller is, the better your voicemail. Center on your audience, first and foremost. Knowing what to relate ensures that your caller will leave the right message. For instance, if you’re a retail store, you would include your hours of operations, and perhaps any specials that you’re running. If you are a therapist’s office, then you’d need to include an alternate number in case a patient is having an issue and requires immediate help. Again, this will vary depending on the business. Here, a therapist would definitely request the caller leave their contact information. However, a retail store chain might not request that. There are also complex voicemail systems such as those used by mobile phone services, which ask you to press a certain number on your phone, where you are asked to leave your account information. Again, as you can see, it all boils down to the demographics of your callers, and what you need from them to conduct the best business possible. Depending on the situation, your caller might be in a good mood or not. In either case, they’ll probably be eagerly awaiting your call. So, it stands to reason that you only promise them a call back if you can deliver. In other words, if you’re a small shop and you’ve decided to close due to a much-needed sabbatical, then don’t leave a voicemail greeting where you promise them to call right back. However, if you have an active customer service staff, then you can promise to return their call within the same day.
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Voicemail greetings for business have to be very clear, precise, and to the point. Businessmen tend to avoid frivolous talks, so it is important that you stick to the basics. On the other hand, you can be funny or a little less formal while recording a voicemail for your friends and family. However, remember to adhere to voicemail etiquette while recording these greetings. So, this is where I sign out. Leave a message, I mean a comment if you like my voicemail greeting suggestions!
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This type of voicemail greeting is usually started something like “You have reached the voicemail of..” It is a great greeting for not only business
Background noise can make it hard for the person calling in to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around when you record your message!
Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.
A professional voicemail greeting is slightly different than a business greeting, as certain professionals may require the caller to leave specific information. For instance, a professional therapist voicemail greeting would specifically ask for contact information from the caller, as well as leave their own personal contact information in case the caller is having problems. Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I can’t come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call. Include your name/business Ask for their contact information and message Provide them with alternate phone numbers if this is a crisis Extend gratitude for their call Funny Voicemail Greeting
No34: Tim's dead! And God only knows where Lisa is! Fortunately resurrections and divine revelations do tend to occur from time to time, so leave a message and we'll let you know when the next miracle occurs.
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Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number.
Movies and Television. There is surely no better way to make voicemail fun than with pop culture references. Tim Gunn . Play off a classic line delivered by Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. "Of all the messages on all the phones in all the world, you have to leave one for me."
There are many businesses that operate online or even brick and mortar, that have business voicemail lines that are only there to direct customers and Away from the phone Free voicemail message scripts and demos
Funniest Voice Mail Ever Original Funny Voice mail
3. Voicemail Greetings For Business. You’ve reached (insert company name.) All of our team members are busy at the moment, but someone will return your call within (insert timeframe) if you’ll be so kind as to leave your name, number, and a brief message.
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If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid.The difference between a good morning and a bad morning is oftentimes the first message that you receive in the morning. If you want a fail-safe message that could work on the most important people in your lifelike your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or even your parents, you can always take the light and humorous approach.
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Hello, you've reached 555-1552, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
Your voicemail is important. Keep in mind, this is essentially one of the first impressions the hiring manager will have from you. You need to make sure your voicemail is as professional as possible. Whether you are trying to be funny, trying to show off your singing abilities or shouting in the car with the windows down, chances are the hiring manager won’t be impressed. Go into a quiet room and record a simple, “Hi, you’ve reached Kim Costa. I’m sorry I missed your call, but if you please leave your name, number and a brief message I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!” You really can’t go wrong with this. Trust me when I say that hiring managers probably don’t want to hear your high school’s fight song.
Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:
Funny Voicemail Greetings. A list of various answering machine messages or messages you can use on your voice mail system. Funny Voicemail Greetings Answering Machine Messages Pa funny answering machine greetings mp3 is important information accompanied by photo and HD pictures sourced from all websites in the world.
So, some of the embedded commands that are in here, I made them purple but are also in all caps. Just to make sure I remember to emphasize it a little bit as I'm talking, so just to give you an idea, Mr. Seller, here's how I make it easy and convenient when you sell your house to me.
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“Hello, you’ve reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we’ll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you’re so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]” “Hi, you’ve reached [your name, the office of X company]. We’re closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year’s, Fourth of July, day].” “Happy holidays! [I’m, the team at X company is] away until [date], however, we’ll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful [day, week].” Join me in updating our voicemail greetings — so that people everywhere will be impressed by our professional voicemails. Recent Posts Get Verified on Instagram in Six Simple Steps TikTok Basics – Authenticity and Brands Brand Loyalty Remains High Anvixa™ Ranked #1 Social Media Agency in Miami The 10 Most Expensive Logo Redesign & Brand Campaigns Categories Advertising Anvixa News Business Design Lifestyle Marketing Mobile Social Media Web Development Digital Advertising Social Media Content Production Social Media Management Social Media Advertising Website Development coming soon eCommerce Marketing coming soon Fashion Marketing coming soon R.E. Brokerage Marketing coming soon RESMA™ REALTOR® Program REALTOR® Marketing under development Blogs & Stories Web Design Portfolio Accessibility Statement Terms of Services Privacy Policy
Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……
Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner. Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages […]
I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
Just kidding. Do you know of a funnier voice message? Leave it in the comments below! Author: Michael C Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. Post Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published.While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
5. “GRANDPA! YOU ARE ALIVE!” The Wattpad rated this phrase as the funniest way to answer the phone on its website. Suppose if you get a call from your introvert friend, squeal happily as soon as he says hello.
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So there ya go. Leave a comment below and you'll get to download my nifty, we-buy-houses voicemail script—easy peasy, macaroni-and-cheesy. And don’t forget to be awesome.
10. Nobody Misses The Clever Answering Machine Message. Connect Your Team All Under One Number, No Matter If They Are Working Down The Hall Or Across The Country.
Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
The above greeting is a professional voicemail script used by many growing and established businesses. It delivers the message quickly and efficiently, without wasting the caller’s time.
answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break FREEAnsweringMachin eMessages. FREE. Page 6/25. Download File PDF Free Phone Answering Machine Messages Audio Answering. Machine. Messages. Below is a
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Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail.
How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek….
A professional voicemail greeting is slightly different than a business greeting, as certain professionals may require the caller to leave specific information. For instance, a professional therapist voicemail greeting would specifically ask for contact information from the caller, as well as leave their own personal contact information in case the caller is having problems. Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I can’t come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call. Include your name/business Ask for their contact information and message Provide them with alternate phone numbers if this is a crisis Extend gratitude for their call Funny Voicemail Greeting
You may hold or leave a message at the beep. Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published.
A custom phone greeting is a recording that plays automatically when a customer calls. They can be set to play right at the start as a professional welcome, as a voicemail greeting, or even as an away message when you can’t answer.
And now, a number of links that will introduce you to some cute videos posted on YouTube: How it works The message (examples/idea) English or foreign voices Background music Technical data Price FAQs Extra Funny voicemail message Install messages Set messages for Asterisk Switchboard voicemail catalogue Become affiliated Are you a switchboard manufacturer? Our APIs Home About us Our addresses How we work Satisfied customers How it works The message (examples/idea) English or
