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My friend found a recording of a man rifling off purposely confusing voice mail instructions. It's really fast, and he keeps saying numbers and number combinations... I wish I had it....
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How are you doing?We must meet this weekend.How about I call you?...Hello....Hello....Who is this?Is anyone in line?....Road side cafe;You kill them, we cook them.Leave your order and we will be back.Sorry, I miss you.One of the reasons I can't make a phone call may be: a) I'm with my girl (laughs), B) I'm completely wasted and can't remember how to use the phone, or c) I just don't want to talk to you.
Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.

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Obviously the women had taken umbrage to his crashing into them and the rest of this street gang then jumped out of the car; continuing their assault:
5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].

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After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you'll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message.

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After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I’ll get back to you as soon as it’s safe for you to come out of hiding.

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    Johnpaul MosesIn the REI game since Y2K, JP's deal-making adventures run the gamut from rehabs to rentals to realtoring to wholesaling—from REOs to lease options to seller financing to raw land. Many 100's of deals later, his active real estate game is played remotely today (from home) in various U.S. markets, and intentionally with the smallest team possible. The aim is high margins with the least possible time & effort. Less, but better. ‹ Previous Property Scouts—Viable for Leads in ‘White Hot’ Markets? Next › Driving for Dollars App 2.0—Cool Stuff Coming :-)
    “In a world where the person you are trying to reach can’t answer the phone… there’s only one choice. Leave a message.”

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    Save voicemail messages in just minutes. Download voicemails as mp3 or save to CD. Record voicemail messages before upgrading phones. Save voicemails from iPhone, Android, cell phones & landlines. Start Now.

    I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.
    44. Hello, you’ve reached [X department] at [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office, but we’ll be happy to assist you when we return. Leave a quick message that includes a callback number and a team member will reach out within one business day.

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    It is really important to strike a balance between coming off as too cold, conservative and impersonal with making your message too out there, long or eccentric. If you can create something memorable, it will help engage a caller, or potential client. Go too far off the deep end, and you’ll scare them away

    Guest posting is the marketing tactic of writing and publishing an original article, or any other relevant original content, on someone else's blog. . . .
    Please read what the event is about. It is NOT about people asking questions on issues. It is about "How can Congress effectively use Facebook". :) Facebook DC Live: Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.) | Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=105580199526052)

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    This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.

    Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
    So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

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No48: You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.

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When the Queen asked Prince William and Prince Harry to help her set up her voicemail, they recorded a voicemail greeting that said “Hey wassup! This is Liz. Sorry, I’m away from the throne. For a hotline to Philip, press one. For Charles, press two. And for the corgis, press three.“

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Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:

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