Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.
So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been?
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1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."
10. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail. T-Mobile Visual Voicemail is yet another great voicemail tool for your android devices for accessing and managing your voicemails.
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YouMail, a free cell phone voicemail service provider, has partnered with Salient Media to provide users with comedic voicemail greetings. Some of the greetings from Salient entertainers are free, while other greetings are sold on a subscription basis. Subscriptions range between $1.99 a month to $9.99 a month, based on the number of different greetings a user uses at one time. “This partnership is a significant milestone in YouMail’s goal of creating and distributing the best premium content to our users,” said Alex Quilici, CEO of YouMail. “Salient Media’s breadth and depth within the entertainment industry will give us the opportunity to offer YouMail users premium content from the industry’s most popular and powerful entertainers, artists, comedians and actors.”
– I wish I was available to take your important call but, you see, I’m trying to do a lot of things that just can’t get done when I’m talking on the phone. Please leave your name and number and I’ll try and call you back if everything gets done.
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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."
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No40: Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!”
Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message.
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I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message!
13. "Hello, you've reached [company]. If you're looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to chat with our team? Leave your name and number, and we'll return your call straight away."
Leaving a voicemail can still be a good way to grab the attention of a potential new customer. However, when it comes to leaving a voicemail, you only have a few seconds to actually grab the listener's attention. Most salespeople screw this up by leaving too much information and making themselves sound like a salesperson, which is the kiss of death when leaving a voicemail.
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Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine .
If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say. You want to know why?
You’ve reached ARC Construction, leaders in home remodeling and construction services. We are pleased to announce that we were recently named ‘Best Local Contractor’ by the Phoenix Herald, and we finished another year ‘Complaint Free’ from the Better Business Bureau! It’s just the kind of service you’d expect from your hometown professionals. We are sorry we are unable to take your call at this time, please leave a message, and we will get back to you as promptly as possible.
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21. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m not much of a phone person, so don’t bother leaving a message. Send me an email at [email address] and I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.
Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Authors | Topics | Sitemap To hear these greetings, you need the Real Audio Player 3.0 or greater. Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes John Lennon Quotes Mahatma Gandhi Quotes Marilyn Monroe Quotes Mark Twain Quotes I don't like it Nudity / Pornography Irrelevant to this topic There is no quote on image Your intellectual property
Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own!
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Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Witty-Quotes | Site Map | Terms and Conditions | Links Page | Privacy Policy Popular Pages
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12. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m away from my phone at the moment, but leave a message after the tone so I can get back in touch later today.
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Hi. This is [Name] from [Business Name]. We are currently involved in a relocation. Our new office will be open for business on March 21st, 8 am to 9 pm, Central Standard Time. You may contact us at that time at 555-555-2343. Thank you for your call.
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This short, quick message tells him how you feel, shows he's on your mind, and makes him start thinking about you. All Rights Reserved.However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Just kidding, buddy.
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Computer software have facilitated interaction between us and the computers. What are the different kinds of software? How many are they? Go through these examples of computer software to find…
“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”
No47: This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience.
7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
No45: Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges.
!
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I’m out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in I’ll call you back. Leave me a message.
2. Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
"Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here...now...thank you. How are you?" cromagnon, May 26, 2003 Joined: Jul 27, 2002 Messages: 1,463 You have reached the room of Matt and Brad. I am busy throwing Brad out the window (scream, quickly diminishing), so please leave a message. We had to try about 6 times before we didn't laugh while making it. Our RA came in and asked if everything was alright from my screaming.
It’s imperative for any business owner and/or entrepreneur to have a professional, snappy and appropriate voicemail greeting for their business. Automated greetings will only help current customers stay in touch with you and you will create a great first impression on potential clients.
A professional and personable voicemail greeting is beneficial for several reasons. Read ahead to find out what these are.
I am willing to bet that every man and woman on that subway went and told their friends about that experience. The same idea goes for a voicemail greeting. If you come up with a funny and memorable voicemail greeting, people will share their experience with their friends and family, further enhancing your word of mouth.
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Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
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Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?
Cash Me Outside. Donald Trump - Donate to the Wall. Thank You For Holding. Hillary - Delete My Emails. Pokemon Go.
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Bullwinkle: Must have been a wrong number. Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.
"Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished."
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Not funny at all. More obnoxious then anything! I just hate those voice mails asking ME to call them back because they have “questions”. Got one yesterday… Bob, this is __________ I have a few questions, please call me at XXX_XXX_XXXX… and then when you call it’s a flipping company that knows NOTHING about what I do or even that they called me in the first place. Don’t know about you but I’m rather protective of my phone time. And yes, they could use a dose of Art & Sam’s seminar… Hey one in Phoenix in a couple weeks
We’re keeping it simple with this one. Just a few basic elements to help you get started. As long as you know who your audience is, the message you wish to convey, and the information you need from the caller, the rest should fall into place quite nicely. Let’s face it, a voicemail greeting for a lumber company will probably be different than that of a psychologist’s office. One greeting is aimed at securing potential customers, and the other is geared towards appointments, more or less. Once you are certain who your caller is, the better your voicemail. Center on your audience, first and foremost. Knowing what to relate ensures that your caller will leave the right message. For instance, if you’re a retail store, you would include your hours of operations, and perhaps any specials that you’re running. If you are a therapist’s office, then you’d need to include an alternate number in case a patient is having an issue and requires immediate help. Again, this will vary depending on the business. Here, a therapist would definitely request the caller leave their contact information. However, a retail store chain might not request that. There are also complex voicemail systems such as those used by mobile phone services, which ask you to press a certain number on your phone, where you are asked to leave your account information. Again, as you can see, it all boils down to the demographics of your callers, and what you need from them to conduct the best business possible. Depending on the situation, your caller might be in a good mood or not. In either case, they’ll probably be eagerly awaiting your call. So, it stands to reason that you only promise them a call back if you can deliver. In other words, if you’re a small shop and you’ve decided to close due to a much-needed sabbatical, then don’t leave a voicemail greeting where you promise them to call right back. However, if you have an active customer service staff, then you can promise to return their call within the same day.
As we iterated in 5 Voicemail Message Myths, when you are leaving a message for your potential leads, there are certain rules everyone should follow. Those myths have been studied and show that dismissing them result in fewer callbacks. Nonetheless, few studies have been dedicated to voicemail greetings. Therefore, you should think outside of the box and do something different. A comedic voicemail like this famous greeting from George Costanza in Seinfeld is a great example.
Send me your project script details and I can create a custom quote, you can download the rate sheet with the green button.
20 Creative And Funny Voicemail Greetings. These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. Voicemail 2 My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message
Funny answering machine or voicemail messages to try. Posted by hotcrowd on August 6, 2009. Try a clever message for your phone. These are a hoot! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
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“Holiday voicemail greeting is the perfect opportunity to personalize the usually neutral corporate communication.” 9 scripts for holiday voicemail greetings. Below we have listed several ideas for great voicemail messages, depending on your company’s needs. 1. Happy [X holiday]! You’ve reached [ …
Many of these sites offer to write your voicemail script for you, but you’re welcome to write your own. Whatever you decide, there are many options to suit your needs.
*Quick Tip* If you have your very own salon app, then make sure you mention that in your voicemail as well! For more ideas on salon app marketing, click here.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. The roses have wilted, the violets are dead. The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head. The roses stink, sorta like sheep. But leave your name, number, and message after the beep. The roses are molding, the violets are rotten. And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten.
Consult your network manual for detailed information on changing your voicemail message.
Voicemail greetings are not memorable. Most of them are exactly the same and therefore, provide no surprise to the person on the other end of the line. When people see, hear and experience the expected, they tend to forget it very quickly. Funny voicemail greetings give your callers a sense of shock. That shock is not easily forgotten. Not only will this encourage sharing and engagement (which I will get to later), but it will also give you a distinct advantage when you return the call.
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This script is very well crafted, I love the human feel to it (down to Earth all-around good people) I’m going to tweak mines a little but this will be the base of my 24 hr voice mail Thank you for sharing
35. Hello, we’re wishing you all a happy [X holiday]. Our office is currently closed so our employees can celebrate with their loved ones. Please leave your name, number, and reason for calling and a member of our team will return your call when we reopen on [X date].
Roses are red, boogers are green, please leave your message on this stupid machine.
If you’re out of the office, a voicemail greeting will essentially act as the first line of communication between you and clients or potential clients. So of course, this could be a great opportunity to add a hint of personality, while of course still remaining as professional as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with it!
You just can’t usually solution the phone and contacting 15 periods isn’t aiding. Deliver a textual content or depart a voicemail. • initial On #advice #randomfacts #fun #giggle More
I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
