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>Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold

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41 Funniest Voicemail Greetings in the World. Many years ago, in a time before cell phones (Yes it exists, and I remember it!) I used to get inundated with phone calls to my landline at all times of day and night.
What’s more annoying than being unprepared? Doing business with someone who is. In other words, don’t wing it — practice your script, speaking slowly and annunciating each word. .

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Out of town? Your callers should know. Let them know with the following vacation voicemail greetings.
Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)

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If you’re a small business owner, we recommend going with the RIY (record it yourself) route. First, it’s more affordable. Second (and more importantly), if your clients expect to work with you directly, they will expect to hear your voice when they place a phone call.
Now, we’ve covered the topic a bit at length in the past, with sure-fire ways to engage callers with your business voicemail greeting. Still a solid basis for constructing your new voicemail greeting, we’ll cover a quick recap of the most important aspects of a voicemail greeting for those that are unfamiliar.

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3. Available Agents Greeting. What callers hear when they are routed to an available agent. Sample Scripts: “Please hold while you are connected to the next available agent.”

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Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

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    Whether it’s an out-of-stock product, a canceled event, or social media snafu, there are times when your business may see an influx of frustrated callers. While it is important to address their concerns head-on, you may not be able to answer each call as it’s received. Make sure you use best practices for dealing with angry customers, and that your voicemail greeting sets the appropriate tone. Avoid defensive language, validate their concerns, and keep them informed as to how you are handling the situation.
    Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text. Much more! Sign Up.

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    Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.

    6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.
    #9 “Hey, this is Bryan, sorry I missed your call. You can leave me a message, or shoot me an email at bryanallain at gmail dotcom and I’ll get back to you. Thanks.”

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    Perhaps this guy was tired, maybe having a bad day, and hopefully he doesn’t leave this type of message regularly.

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    Two other parodies of telephone messages have been made from the telephone company by Ghtrout.

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    No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.

    I'll call you, cause you called me. We're the ______ family. So leave your name and number at the tone. Sorry that we're not at home.
    Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.

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When you decide to upgrade your voicemail message to a more professional option, you choose between writing and recording it yourself and having a professional do the hard work for you. On the surface, voicemail greetings seem simple, but they often go awry. Some people try to use a funny... 5 Examples of Funny Voicemail Greetings and Why You Should Avoid Them March 14, 2012 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings

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Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

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1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.

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