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If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say. You want to know why?

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18. Hello, you’ve reached the voicemail box for [employee name] at [company name]. [Employee first name] has moved onto a different position, but our new [job title, employee name] will be happy to assist you. Please call [number, extension] or leave a message here and a representative will get back to you.
Communicating with clients, customers, and colleagues--whether in the office or across the globe--has never been easier, faster, or more affordable. Nowadays, businesses have a lot of options at... Home Press | About | Contact | Advertise | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy Site Map .

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Employees’ expectations of privacy for the mobile devices they own and use for work don’t match up with reality, according to a survey of 2,997 workers in the U.S., the United Kingdom and
As in the situation above, a full mailbox can be really frustrating for an employer who is trying to get in touch with you. Set aside time at least once a week to make sure you clean out your voicemail. You want to be as accessible as possible for potential employers. I’ve called a few job seekers lately to help with their search and have gotten this message, “We’re sorry. The person you are trying to reach has not yet set up their voicemail system. Please try again later.” This makes you look a little lazy and can frustrate the hiring managers. As soon as you get a new phone, make sure you make it a priority to get your voicemail up and running. Definitely make sure you have it set up before you start sending out job applications. I understand this could slip your mind, but it’s important that you do everything you can to show the hiring manager that you are reliable and reachable.

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There are many businesses that operate online or even brick and mortar, that have business voicemail lines that are only there to direct customers and Away from the phone Free voicemail message scripts and demos
“You have reached the voice mailbox of nine.. one.. eight.. three..” or “Hey, this is (name), leave a message after the beep”, are some boring and typical voice-mail greetings that we generally record on our phone voice mail. But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.

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I actually get choked up when I think about how generous you are with the skills and knowledge you share. Thank you for a treasure trove of extremely valuable information.

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Information: Your business voicemail should provide all the information the caller needs. ...Validation: A great professional voicemail greeting should thank the caller for their call and apologize for missing it. ...Motivation: The aim of a professional voicemail is to keep the caller on the line long enough to listen to your message. ...

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    Nov 11, 2019 - Explore maru's board "funny voicemail" on Pinterest. See more ideas about voicemail, funny, voicemail greeting.

    Listen to Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements by Worldwide Talent Group on Apple Music. Stream songs including "After Hours You're Hosed", "After Hours You're out of Luck" and more. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Hi. Hello! A is for academics, B is for beer. Hi. Hi! This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. Hello, you are talking to a machine.
    Moving on. I asked them to tell us not just about their house in their message, but their situation. I invite them to at least open the door and describing whether or not this is an inherited property or a road old rental property or what have you. Obviously they can choose whether they want to include that at all or how much they want to say about it, but at least asking for it makes sense to me.

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    #3 “Hey this is Bryan, I’d tell you what to do at the beep, but I’m pretty sure you already know what to do. So yeah, just do it.”

    Funny Answering Machine Messages. "Hi, we aren't in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you've finished." Â "Hi, you have reached the Borg collective.
    “Believe it or not, George isn't at home, please leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home.” Click here to watch and listen to George’s hilarious voicemail sample.

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    Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.

    These are very funny and interesting conversations. I did not know before an answering app or machine can answer so funny.
    #2 “Hey this is Bryan, leave me a message at the beep. Like you needed me to tell you that, right? I mean, how many times have you done this? You already know what to do.”

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    What kind of company do you run? A law firm may prefer more formal business voicemail greetings than a trendy retail store, for example.

    Keep in mind that regulations for use of email and text messaging may require clients to opt-in—meaning they give permission for you to contact them in this way. So, you’ll need to be clear if you plan only to use email or text messages for one-on-one communication during active casework or if you may also use it for other reasons as well, including reminders or promotions for your products or services.
    Creative Voice Mail Messages. I'm not here but don't hang up. Leave a message at the beep and I'll call you right back. Hello, this is Bob; I'm not available right now. Please leave your name, number and a nice message at the tone. If you want to know where I am call a psychic. If …

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Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital. If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.

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Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:

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If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

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“Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date]. Please leave a brief message with your contact information, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return on [date]. If this is an emergency or you need to speak with someone before I return, please contact [name of colleague/supervisor], [their job title], at [their phone number].”

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