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No19: I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

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9. Outgoing Message with Samuel L. Jackson Treatment. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.
Operating systems that create a link between users and the applications form the core of computer systems. An OS dissociates the programs from the hardware and simplifies resource management. Let… .

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Listing Results Funny Voicemail Greeting Mp3 46 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service
Hey It’s _____. Here are three things you probably shouldn’t do right now: 1.) Don’t leave a message. It’s boring to listen to and a waste of my time. 2.) Don’t call me back. I didn’t answer for a reason so just keep that in mind. 3.)

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Hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007. If you get this machine I am probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you."

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4. “What the hell do you want?” Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this.

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11. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]’s cell phone. I can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave a brief message, I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.

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    YouMail, a free cell phone voicemail service provider, has partnered with Salient Media to provide users with comedic voicemail greetings. Some of the greetings from Salient entertainers are free, while other greetings are sold on a subscription basis. Subscriptions range between $1.99 a month to $9.99 a month, based on the number of different greetings a user uses at one time. “This partnership is a significant milestone in YouMail’s goal of creating and distributing the best premium content to our users,” said Alex Quilici, CEO of YouMail. “Salient Media’s breadth and depth within the entertainment industry will give us the opportunity to offer YouMail users premium content from the industry’s most popular and powerful entertainers, artists, comedians and actors.”

    5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
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    12. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m away from my phone at the moment, but leave a message after the tone so I can get back in touch later today.

    Well, if you left me a message at some point in 2009 there was a good chance you heard that greeting.
    8. Introducing Answer Bots: The Solution To (Really) Stop Unwanted Calls. You Can Also Use Your Direct Executive Program As A Fax-To-Email Mailbox, Giving You The Capability Of Handling Your Calls, Your Messages, And Your Faxes All Under One Phone Number.

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    16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

    Website: http://allowe.com/laughs/book/88 Creative Answering Machine Messages.htm
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    9. The Skill Demonstrator. You may decide to demonstrate your skills through the voicemail message you leave your prospects. This works perfectly if you deal with selling your skills and expertise to your customers.

    6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, you’ve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) We’ve taken this time to be with our family’s and stuff our bellies.
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Who thought a voicemail system could be so fun? You can copy & paste one of the scripts above into the OpenPhone voicemail interface and create a professional voiceover instantly. Want to learn more about what else is possible with OpenPhone? How to set up auto-replies; Create snippets (or text message templates) How to record phone calls

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This is the WORST. VOICE MAIL. GREETING. EVER. I laughed when Tyler mentioned it on his blog last week, because I had just been talking about it with a friend the week before.

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Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello.

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