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Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. šŸ˜€

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Funny answering machine or voicemail messages to try. Posted by hotcrowd on August 6, 2009. Try a clever message for your phone. These are a hoot! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didnā€™t lend me enough money.
You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and weā€™ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day. .

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Oh, and if youā€™re looking for extra marketing resources, grab your FREE copy of The Beauty & Hair Salon Owners Ultimate Guide To Facebook today! Label {} [+] Name* Email* Website Oldest Newest ZoĆ© BĆ©lisle-Springer is an award-winning writer, author of various ebooks, podcaster and speaker known for their contributions to inspiring materials destined for the salon community. They have been featured in SalonEVO, Salon Today, Professional Beauty UK, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Future Of Everything and spoken at conferences such as Modern Salonā€™s Digital Summit, the Thrive Sessions, Seattle Interactive and Uppercase. As Phorest Salon Softwareā€™s Community & Content Manager, they are responsible for the planning and execution of localised audio and written content as well as driving community engagement leading to collaborative course content, mentorship programs and online/on-demand video content. See all articles by ZoĆ© BĆ©lisle-Springer Over the last few decades, the price of living has gone up, and customersā€™ habits have changed. In the hair and beauty industry, thereā€™s still quite a bit of fear [ā€¦] For a couple of years now, December also means Spotify users, artists and podcasters get their ā€œSpotify Wrappedā€ or year in review. This year on Phorest FM, we produced over [ā€¦] Brand & PR / Sales & Marketing ā€œThe beauty industry is a different beast!ā€ Thatā€™s what my boss used to tell me when I worked at Urban Retreat. From hairdressers to medispa and beauty, this business had [ā€¦] Book a free demo Request a quote
Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If youā€™re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.

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2. Access the dial pad. You'll need to bring up the Phone app's dial pad, as if you were going to call an actual person. To do this, tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen.
25. Hello, youā€™ve reached [your name], [job title] at [business name]. Iā€™m sorry to have missed your call. Please leave your name, contact information, and reason for calling so I can get back to you promptly.

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No5: You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.

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47. Hi, this is [name], [company]ā€™s [job title]. Iā€™m happy to help you with [task], but Iā€™m currently away from my phone. Leave a quick message and Iā€™ll return your call as soon as I can. Thanks!

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    7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP."

    Itā€™s the way that people contact you when you are busy with other clients or customers, and cannot get to the phone. It is often the customers or clients first impression of your business or brand, you need to leave a great impression. The worst thing is for a first time caller, or even a returning customer, to get a short blurb like ā€œLeave a message iā€™ll call you backā€. Or, just a beep after the ring.
    And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything. Step 2 Record a message using a friend who speaks in a deep, low, creepy voice and says "[your name] can't come to the phone.

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    This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!

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    47. Hi, this is [name], [company]ā€™s [job title]. Iā€™m happy to help you with [task], but Iā€™m currently away from my phone. Leave a quick message and Iā€™ll return your call as soon as I can. Thanks!

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    Hi! I seem to be in the room, but I canā€™t quite locate my phone at the moment. If you leave a message and number, Iā€™ll ring you up whenever I find it, or if you happen to know where I left it, let me know!

    -Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. BOOM! (not followed by a beep)
    God's Voice mail lolĀ Jesus's Voice mail

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    19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] ā€” or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ā€˜Are red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."

    Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. If your one of your name 's friends, you may also leave a message at the They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail.
    Now that you know which script to use, how do you record it? Depending on your budget and the resources available to you, you can record the script yourself, use a text-to-speech program, or hire a professional voice actor to record your greeting.

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best funny voicemail greetings

OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. Soā€¦ now what? Iā€¦ amā€¦ soā€¦ confused. Could you pleaseā€¦ beep. Hello, this is name.However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Just kidding, buddy. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything. Step 2 Record a message using a friend who speaks in a deep, low, creepy voice and says "[your name] can't come to the phone.

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Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts Iā€™ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again ā€” simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phoneā€™s voicemail greeting recorder. With a professional greeting, youā€™ll continue nurturing prospects even if you donā€™t pick up the phone.

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Because they now know you as the contractor with the funny voicemail greeting, you already have a deeper connection with the lead than your competitors. It provides a very nice leeway into the conversation.

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Bullwinkle Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Rocky: Again? Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! [Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.]

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