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Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for (your name), your message will be answered to in the order in which it was received, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

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Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.
Avoid These 3 Voicemail Mishaps When Job SearchingAvoid these scenarios with your voicemail during your job search. .

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You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."

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"Originally posted by Katsumoru: And my dad is an astronaut and gave my car a rocket engine.It's not bull****, just too fast to see." "Originally posted by Menace: my dad works for nasa and has a laser detector that reflects the laser back at the cop and makes his gun explode." "Originally posted by ClawHammer: STI's are handed down by god himself, NOTHING is faster then an STI."
Luckily, voicemail recordings are here to help! Surely, you’ve encountered them in the past. A warm, personal greeting, recorded using a real human voice, listing out dial options (“Press 1 for…, Press 2 for…), or simply explaining why the call isn’t available, saying that you can leave a message after the beep!

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1. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently unavailable, but leave your name and number and I’ll return your call as soon as I can.

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You can customize each greeting for each phone number within your OpenPhone account. In addition, you can change it as often as you need.

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    “Hello. *your name*’s answering machine is broken; this is his/her refrigerator. You can leave a message, but please say it really slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.”

    1. Short Business Voicemail Greetings. Hi there, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. Thanks for calling. I'm unable to answer the phone but if you leave your name, phone number, and message.
    Once you finish your voicemail message, you can end on a note of gratitude and express thanks or that you realize the recipient of the message us busy, so you’d appreciate a return call. Whichever way you choose, make certain that the tone of your message is upbeat. A business voicemail greeting sees each call as their chance to engage with their clients or vendors. Hello, you’ve reached the office of Lydecker and Lydecker. We are currently unavailable to answer your call. However, your call is important to us, so please leave your name, phone number or email address, and a brief message and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your interest in Lydecker and Lydecker Law Offices. Professional tone Provide the caller with specific information Request the caller to leave specific information Extend gratitude for their call Professional Voicemail Greetings

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    Caller ID also played a role in the decline of calls answered by making it easier to know which calls to reject.

    These are very funny and interesting conversations. I did not know before an answering app or machine can answer so funny.
    First you need to know how much time your phone system or provider allows for the duration of the greeting. Some are 30 sec some are longer. Then you need to have a few ideas of what you want to say, or ask your callers.

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    Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.

    This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time.
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    Please hang up, and check the number, and dial again, and your card number, and check the number again, and ask information operator for assistance for fifteen minutes, and deposit 40 cents.

    Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now. He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.
    Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.

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Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/

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Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.

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Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?

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