Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Leave a message at the beep.
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19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] ā or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling āAre red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."
Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
-Roses are red boogerās are green please leave your message on this stupid machine. Readers also Love to Read:100+ Affirmations for Long Distance Relationship 59+ Best Goodbye Messages to Colleagues 101+ Catchy Goodbye Slogans and Quotes 48+ Best Wedding Puns and Funny Quotes āLearn to Stress Lessā 68+ Inspiring Quotes
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Editor's note: This post was originally published in February 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness. Try This Effective Prospecting Voicemail Script [Tips Included] Sales | 12 min read Get it now Get it now Download for Later Popular Features Free Meeting Scheduler App Social Media Tools Email Tracking Software Sales Email Automation Ads Software Email Marketing Software Lead Management Software Pipeline Management Tools Sales Email Templates Help Desk Software Free Online Form Builder Free Chatbot Builder Free Live Chat Software Marketing Analytics Free Landing Page Builder Free Tools Website Grader Make My Persona Email Signature Generator Blog Ideas Generator Invoice Template Generator Marketing Plan Generator Free Business Templates Industry Benchmark Data Software Comparisons Library Company About Us Careers Management Team Board of Directors Investor Relations Blog Contact Us Customers Customer Support Join a Local User Group Partners All Partner Programs Solutions Partner Program App Partner Program HubSpot for Startups Affiliate Program Facebook Instagram Youtube Twitter Linkedin Medium Hello Select your address Account & Lists Returns & Orders Best Sellers Prime Customer Service New Releases Today's Deals Pharmacy Books Fashion Registry Toys & Games Kindle Books Gift Cards Amazon Home Sell Computers Automotive Coupons Home Improvement Shopper Toolkit Video Games Smart Home Find a Gift Beauty & Personal Care Health & Household Amazon Basics Pet Supplies TV & Video Handmade Baby Disability Customer Support Amazon Music Unlimited Amazon Music HD Amazon Music Prime Free Streaming Music Buy Music Open Web Player Settings Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements Your Amazon Music account is currently associated with a different marketplace. To enjoy Prime Music, go to Your Music Library and transfer your account to Amazon.com (US). After Hours You're Hosed 0:7 $0.99 After Hours You're out of Luck 0:11 $0.99 All Lines Busy Wait Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Answered It's Not Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Attention....Never Mind 0:6 $0.99 Attention....We Forgot 0:7 $0.99 Automated Answer If We Had More Money 0:8 $0.99 Baggage Search and Good Stuff Taken 0:9 $0.99 Biz Hours Whenever 0:5 $0.99 Call Back When You Know What You're Talking About 0:4 $0.99 Complaint Dept Hang Up 0:4 $0.99 Emergency Talking Faster 0:4 $0.99 Exit Stop Pushing and Shoving 0:4 $0.99 For Legal Evidence Call Will Be Recorded 0:7 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready or Get It Together 0:5 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready 0:4 $0.99 In Emergency Kiss Your Ass Goodbye 0:6 $0.99 Last One Please Turn out Lights 0:3 $0.99 Leave Tray Tables Down 0:7 $0.99 People Cutting in Line Thrown Out 0:4 $0.99 Pick up You Guns and Exit 0:3 $0.99 Please Keep Asking for Help 0:4 $0.99 Please Never Call Again 0:3 $0.99 Please Welcome a Real Loser 0:5 $0.99 Reached Number in Error Pay Attention.Wav 0:4 $0.99 Service Is Just a Word 0:6 $0.99 Someone May Be on the Line Shortly 0:7 $0.99 Sorry Lights on No One Home 0:4 $0.99 Speak With Someone Who Knows 0:5 $0.99 To Reach Compulsive Disorder Dept 0:4 $0.99 Un-Attended Bag....Take It 0:5 $0.99 Un-Attended Bags Taken and Put on Ebay 0:10 $0.99 Un-Attended Children Given Caffiene and Puppy 0:8 $0.99 Water Landing Seat Cushion 0:8 $0.99 We Will Get to Your Call When We Feel Like It 0:6 $0.99 You Will Never Be Connected to a Live Person 0:6 $0.99 Your Call Is Important Not 0:7 $0.99 Sold by Amazon.com Services LLC. Additional taxes may apply. By placing your order, you agree to our Terms of Use.
funny voicemail
3. Using Prerecorded Messages. Leave Me A Message And Wait By Your Phone Till I Can Call You Back. Hi There! Your Name Is Not Here At The Moment. How Can Someone Keep A Dork In Suspense?
6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, youāve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) Weāve taken this time to be with our familyās and stuff our bellies.
-Hi. Iām probably home. Iām just avoiding someone I donāt like. Leave me a message, and if I donāt call back, itās you.
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16. Hi, youāve reached [X Business Name]. Our regular business hours are [State opening hours]. If you need to reach someone immediately, please call [contactās name] at [cell phone number]. If not, leave your name and contact information and a representative will get back to you when we re-open.
9. "Hey, this is [your name]. Thanks for reaching out. I'm busy at the moment, but if you leave your name, number, and message, I'll return your call.ā
If you are a burglar, then weāre probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and canāt come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably arenāt home and itās safe to leave us a message.
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Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.
That's why you have to put a little "you" when it comes to voicemail ".The best part of all of this is because you can't make a phone call and at least the person who makes the call is happy to listen to the information.What is your greeting?Is it automated or are you personalized to suit your personality?Many times when we call our friends, family or any other place, all we get is voice mail.
Customer Service and Operations at OpenPhone. Founder of SOUL House artist showcase in the GTA. Art is life! Dee Lee 1 year ago Reply
seven best business voicemail greetings
Katharine Hepburnās iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting. Click here to hear how Hepburn brings these words to life.
I totally get itā¦ I've been there, and always appreciate finding an āeasy buttonā or shortcut myself. If it'll save me (i) time, (ii) pain or (iii) the trial-and-error of making or finding it myself, then I'm in.
We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and weāll get back to, pending credit approval.
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Iām out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in Iāll call you back. Leave me a message.
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6. Visual Voicemail Plus. Visual Voicemail Plus is a reliable voicemail app offering great customisation options for its users to manage their messages visually.
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These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.
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Hereās another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:
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Leave me a message, and if I donāt call back, itās you. Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. Hi, this is [ your name ]. Iām sorry, I canāt answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone ā¦
2. It should only take 8 seconds to connect me with your phone, and no longer. So if I have to listen to 15 seconds of your crappy music, it means youāve prolonged the connection process just to expose me to your musical tastes. How dare you.
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Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. Click here to experience this voicemail message on Youtube. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.
Website: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/professional-voicemail-greeting
Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a clientās interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback.
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If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.
No2:Ā Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)
Rehearse or write down your message before recording it. Remember that old saying āpractice makes perfect?ā Itās certainly true when it comes to creating an electronic greeting. The more youāve rehearsed, the easier the message will be to restate. If you donāt have time to practice, writing down the greeting before recording it ā and then reading it aloud from the paper ā may help you stay focused on the correct wording.
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āHey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway Iām about to give in my resignation right now. Please donāt call here again. Just kidding!
Canāt take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message?
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5. 605-475-6959: The bad breath notification hotline. Have you ever met someone that, on first glance, looks to be an ideal mate but as soon as they open their mouth and begin speaking, an unbelievable odour comes from their mouth?
voicemail funny greetings
And now, a number of links that will introduce you to some cute videos posted on YouTube: How it works The message (examples/idea) English or foreign voices Background music Technical data Price FAQs Extra Funny voicemail message Install messages Set messages for Asterisk Switchboard voicemail catalogue Become affiliated Are you a switchboard manufacturer? Our APIs Home About us Our addresses How we work Satisfied customers How it works The message (examples/idea) English or
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Hello. You have reached Erin Klineman, Marketing Manager for Stone & Associates. I am currently out of the office attending a conference until August 4th. I will be checking messages daily, however, if you need immediate assistance, please contact Marketing Specialist, Michael Kim at extension 240. Otherwise, please leave a message, and I will call you back at my earliest opportunity.
Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for (your name), your message will be answered to in the order in which it was received, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.
Please make a note of it. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around. OK, what would you like me to tell me? This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message.
Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you backāonly that I won't.
āHey, there! This is [your name]. Please leave me a message with your name, number, and the reason youāre calling. If you also tell me [insert random fact] Iāll be sure to move you to the top of my call list. Have a great day!ā
Is there another postcard to which you were referring in the script video that DOES say that the seller will NOT talk to a real person at first? I'm just a little bit confused about the discrepancy there. But, like I said, I am battling pneumonia so i'm prolly not braining well today. Hard for me to know really.
āHi, youāve called [name] at [XYZ company]. Iām currently busy [hiking through a rainforest, exploring China, climbing Mount Peru etc.] and so I canāt take your call right now. I wonāt be back in the office until [date] and I look forward to hearing from you then.
3. Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you aroundā¦ beep.
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I call bullshit. Why does he start describing what the guy is wearing when he gets out of the car?
The right way to leave your phone number is to start saying your phone number with your area code and then take a 2-3 second pause while the person listening to your voicemail message gets a pen and paper. Then, continue with the next 3 digits, make another 2 second pause, and then say the last 4 digits. Then, slowly repeat your phone number again.
Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further post thank you once again.
5 hilarious voicemail greeting message ideas Sing your greeting with music. A classic funny voicemail greeting is that from George on the sitcom Seinfeld. ... Make your friends think you're on the phone with them. Pretend to answer the phone. ... Pretend to ignore their call. ... Create a rhyming greeting. ... Bring your voicemail greeting to life. ...
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Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt ā BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.
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I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you aroundā¦ beep. Helloā¦ pause. Helloā¦ long pause. Who is this? Hey, sorry I missed you. Leave a message. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
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Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this:Ā riiiing, riiing, riiiingĀ "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassedĀ and you looking foolish.
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it.
Maralee McKee is dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be and to live a confident, kind, and generous life! She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America. She's in the top one percent of experts in her field, and her etiquette skills blog is the most read in the United States. Maralee presents business etiquette seminars to corporations large and small and coaches individuals one-on-one virtually and in-person. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Momās Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books.
