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While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey. Since (insert name) isn’t available at the moment to take your call, but will promptly return it should you decide to accept your mission and leave your name and number, we have a very important question to occupy you in the meantime. Why did the chicken cross the road? Voicemail Greetings For Vacation

standard business voicemail greetings

Hello, it’s obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding. .

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Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.
“Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!

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Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.
– Driving to the day care center to pick up Tracy. Leave a message if it is urgent or I shall return your call in a little while.

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Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.

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    Funny Answering Machine MessagesFunny Answering machine messages, excuses for being away from the phone, and phone pranks! Location: Clean Jokes > Answering machine messages Machine related Answering message 01 Answering message 03 Answering message 05 Answering message 07 Answering message 09 Answering message 11 Answering message 13 Answering message 15 Answering message 17 Answering message 19 Answering message 21 Answering message 23 Answering message 25 Answering message 27 Answering message 29 Answering message 31 Answering message 33 Answering message 35 Answering message 37 Answering message 32 Answering message 34 Answering message 36 Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages. Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms.

    Voicemail greetings are not memorable. Most of them are exactly the same and therefore, provide no surprise to the person on the other end of the line. When people see, hear and experience the expected, they tend to forget it very quickly. Funny voicemail greetings give your callers a sense of shock. That shock is not easily forgotten. Not only will this encourage sharing and engagement (which I will get to later), but it will also give you a distinct advantage when you return the call.
    Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance.

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    Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings.
    5. The Urgency + Mystery Combo. Once you’ve gotten the basics of those last four scripts, you can combine examples to get even more creative.

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    Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?

    Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder.
    https://soundcloud.com/phorest-salon-software/sets/phorest-salon-software-salon-voicemail-messages-examples

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    Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?

    These skills help you stay on point with a focus on graciousness and the gold standard of living out the Golden Rule. They’re simple, savvy, and sincere. Plus, they’ll have people eager to hear and return your phone calls!
    "Hey, what you doin'? Same here. Just Kidding, leave a message and call back. Bye!"

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Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.

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“Hello, you’ve reached the Marketing Department at [XYZ Company]. All of our team members are currently working with other clients to [insert goal] and are unable to take your call.

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Image credit to Far Reach Inc. http://www.farreachinc.com/blog/far-reach/2015/01/08/ho-ho-oh-how-to-create-unforgettable-corporate-holiday-greetings

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