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Click on the name of the website to access the page dedicated to entertaining voicemail messages.

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A man calls wanting help with a dead, frozen, road-killed cat that someone left on his doorstep sometime during the night.
The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number). CULATA! .

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6. The number you have dialed is powered off. Okay, so I have also said this over the phone numerous times. It just sounds one of the funniest ways to answer the phone.
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What's better than one of these not-so-funny voicemail messages? A voicemail greeting that's well written and professionally recorded. The most important thing to remember when writing a new voicemail is don't waste the caller's time. A concise, informative voicemail may seem "square," but its better than irritating and alienating potential business opportunity. Tags: resources, tips, greetings Recent Blogs Taking Your Presentations To The Next Level With Audio and Voice April 01, 2019 Tools to Support Message on Hold Production October 12, 2018 tips (186) resources (163) message on hold (154) marketing (118) customer experience (101) Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes >
Fourth, wait patiently by your phone; one of us will come to you. You need to portray a sense of confidence, authority, and respect. If you would like to leave a voicemail message for an inmate, you must first have a Prepaid Account.

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Hello. This is Chris. John and Mike aren’t here right now, but if you leave a message, they’ll get back to you as soon as they can.

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You’ve worked hard on your application. You’ve double- and triple-checked for spelling errors and you know you are a perfect fit for this job. You’ve followed up on your application and made such a great impression that the employer decides they want to call you in for an interview. You are checking your phone, anxiously awaiting the call…but nothing seems to happen.

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    2. [DOWNLOAD] Pre Recorded Answering Machine Messages | updated! Casual, Fun Greetings Want to keep things light and simple while making your callers laugh when they hear your greeting?

    A good first impression goes a long way, and a voicemail greeting is the first impression to your business. An expertly crafted voicemail script lets your clients know you’re dependable, capable, and confident. An unprofessional voicemail script, on the other hand, can do the exact opposite.
    Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.

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    Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.

    09Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.
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    Creativity In Phone On Hold Messages “There are pros and cons,” explains Easy On Hold President Julie Cook. “We’ve never recommended a trivia-only script for messages on hold, but with hold times upwards of 5 to 6 minutes, a bit of creativity and fun can work. A …

    These work voicemail greetings are for the work phone that you and only you use. They’re highly effective because they help you establish a relationship straight from the voicemail. Or they help you share an important update in a simple, straightforward way.
    2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.

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    Personal cell phone greetings samples Home Personal cell phone greetings samples

    Recording voicemail greetings for your business or personal life requires a separate list of priorities, because they are being used for two distinct purposes and will be heard by two very different types of callers. I have a friend with two cell phones - one for work, and one for personal calls - and if you call both lines, you would never know it's the same person.
    #9 “Hey, this is Bryan, sorry I missed your call. You can leave me a message, or shoot me an email at bryanallain at gmail dotcom and I’ll get back to you. Thanks.”

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Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.

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“First, I am a big fan of the belt and suspender method,” she says. “So, the office would call; if the person is not there, the voice mail message is brief and is followed immediately with an email with all of the details.”

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Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

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Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in.

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