21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Free Wav Sound Effects. Wav Sounds is a family friendly website that offers a good roundup of free
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Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this: riiiing, riiing, riiiing "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassed and you looking foolish.
-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
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Hi. You have reached [Business Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the holiday season. We shall return on January 2, 2020, working office hours from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, closed Saturday and Sunday. Until then, please leave a short message and number, or email address, and we’ll get back to you shortly. Thank you for calling.
18. Hello, you’ve reached the voicemail box for [employee name] at [company name]. [Employee first name] has moved onto a different position, but our new [job title, employee name] will be happy to assist you. Please call [number, extension] or leave a message here and a representative will get back to you.
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Voicemail greetings can include any information you’d wish to convey, such as special sales, bargains, alternate phone numbers to use, or your company’s normal working hours.
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No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
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My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.
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Expect to spend $100-$400 for a voiceover session. (For a lower price point, look at Fiverr, but if you have more room in your budget, check out a voice acting agency.) The average professional studio session from start to finish will take approximately two hours, depending on how many scripts you have to record and how prepared you are.
A voicemail and voicemail greeting are two different things. A voicemail serves to leave a message and contact information to an individual or business. A voicemail greeting serves to welcome those who call while you are out, encouraging them to leave a message and contact information. A well-crafted voicemail greeting also serves as a tool where one can leave a good first impression.
Funny Examples pre recorded answering machine messages free Voicemail Messages These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, answeriing leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future.
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Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Authors | Topics | Sitemap To hear these greetings, you need the Real Audio Player 3.0 or greater. Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes John Lennon Quotes Mahatma Gandhi Quotes Marilyn Monroe Quotes Mark Twain Quotes I don't like it Nudity / Pornography Irrelevant to this topic There is no quote on image Your intellectual property
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I’d like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people love to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings. So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old hand at the game.
10. Uncovering Competitor Info. When it comes to sales voicemail scripts, even the smallest details of a message significantly impact the response rates.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
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“Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We can’t take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, we’re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. We’re available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you’d like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the beep.” “Hello, you’ve reached [company]. If you’re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and we’ll return your call straight away.”
So, if you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your personal telephone’s outgoing message, we have listed 10 celebrities that have contributed to funny voicemail greetings for your callers’ amusement.
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No36: Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks. No37: I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.
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40. Hi, I’m not in right now, but if you leave a detailed message I’ll call you back promptly.
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Voicemail Greeting Sample Scripts Voicemail messages complete your professional image. Whether you are using your cell phone as a mobile office or desire a unified sound for all of your employees, voicemail greetings recorded by a professional voice over talent provide the missing element.
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2. Hello you’ve reached Matt Grech, I’ll be out of the office for the next few days due to the holidays. Feel free to leave a message, or you can shoot me an email at Matt@GetVoIP if something urgent pops up. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return to the office. Happy holidays!
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People around us can need help at any time of the day. Many a time friends, family, boss, colleagues, relatives, and acquaintances need to inform us of something important at odd hours. Some may know when to call you and some of them won’t. In cases where you are not accessible, leaving a simple voicemail on your phone can ease their worry.
No1: Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
If you're seeing this message, that means JavaScript has been disabled on your browser, please enable JS to make Imgur work. Witty Quotes Clever Quotes Funny Quotes Wisdom Quotes Funny ThingsGood Questions Mysterious Questions Funny Signs Funny Headlines Funny Definitions Other QuotesArmy Quotes Computer Quotes Respect Quotes Political Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Friendship Quotes Marriage Quotes Happy Birthday Quotes Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
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Website: https://www.reference.com/world-view/examples-professional-voicemail-greeting-93942ec15af9e87a
It is really important to strike a balance between coming off as too cold, conservative and impersonal with making your message too out there, long or eccentric. If you can create something memorable, it will help engage a caller, or potential client. Go too far off the deep end, and you’ll scare them away
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George is a little different considering he won’t have eager leads calling him about a remodeling project, however, there are certain lessons we can all take from his funny voicemail.
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9. 212-479-7990: You have been rejected. You met an exciting new person, asked for their phone number, and got it. But when you called, it was not them on the line.
Website: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/08/169685/songs-with-voicemails-playlist
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HA HA HA! That was my mom's answering machine for most of my high school years!! I Loved it! The A is for... one was my boyfriends when he lived in the dorms but thankfully it's normal now! lol did you hear about the lady who was a big Tom Selleck fan ? she taped a scene from magnum which had his answering mahine on in it and used it for her machine. imagine getting Tom Selleck s voice when you called home. I do think it is kind of creepy to hear a dead person s voice because the survirors can t bear to erase the tape. i totally need to change my answering machine msg and im definately gonna use one of those!! lol those cracked me up!!! - would consider changing my message to the hynosis one. hi, i'm not here right now to talk with you. in the meantime, while you wait for my return, you can strip naked and run around in the streets yelling "buga buga buga". it won't make me respond sooner, but there will be some nice folks wearing white coats who will be happy to talk to you. Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Forums > Leisure and Society > Hobbies, Interests & Entertainment > Clean/Christian Jokes > A Whipp Media Site Contact Us Help Home Terms and Christian Forum Rules Privacy Policy
There’s another one that’s a little woman that looks like mother goose. She’s beating him! She’s beating him! She’s got a huge bag! She’s beating him. She’s got this big bag! It’s huge, it’s about the size of her.
“I’m answering this phone for my friend who tells me it’s your nature to hang up and not leave a message, but I should remind you that nature is what we are put on this earth to rise above. So please, leave a message at the sound of the beep… for the sake of anthropology.”
8. “Phone tag, you’re it.” Remember that childhood game of tag, you’re it? It’s the same with this phrase, but it is slightly changed. It sounds best when you want to create a playful or mischievous vibe.
Home English Albums Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements Songs
Click here to watch the Youtube video of Adele singing an acapella version of “Hello.”
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While many businesses can use this standard voicemail greeting, not everyone’s business wants to be the same as the others. If you’re looking for a more unique approach, here are four sample voicemail scripts to try:
15. "This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it's really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day."
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."
8. “Phone tag, you’re it.” Remember that childhood game of tag, you’re it? It’s the same with this phrase, but it is slightly changed. It sounds best when you want to create a playful or mischievous vibe.
Hello, this is (name). I am sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave your name, number, and a short message after the beep. Oh and please do wait by the phone till I call you back. Bye.
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I actually get choked up when I think about how generous you are with the skills and knowledge you share. Thank you for a treasure trove of extremely valuable information.
No4: Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
Thanks for all the great advice you share on the Manners Mentor blog! Here is my situation. I hope you can help. Sometimes I’m good at leaving a voicemail that’s to the point, but most of the time I feel like I’m a babbling idiot. I never know how much information to leave. How much is too much? How much isn’t enough, especially in a professional setting? I would love to know your thoughts on this. Best wishes for a wonderful week!
Creative and funny voicemail messages are great for less formal businesses but may be inappropriate for formal ones. However, if creativity is part of your job description, be sure to sprinkle a dash into your voicemail. Check out these creative and funny voicemail greetings. Top 7 business voicemail greetings. 1. Filter Type All Time Past 24 Hours Past Week Past month Brand Listing› Playstation Network› Ibm Websphere Application Server› Ios› Accounts Receivable› Iphone› Android› Iphone 7› Metro By T Mobile› Microsoft Powerpoint› First State Bank› Salesforce› Iphone Goes Straight To Voicemail Fixed› Quickbooks› Gmail› Microsoft Forms› Imvu› Reverse Image Search› Create And Share A Video With Clips On Your Iphone IpadBrowse All Brands >> Frequently Asked QuestionsHow to call directly to someone's voicemail?
When you’re closed for the holiday, it’s good to forgo your usual out-of-office greeting for a custom holiday message. Keep it cheery and brief, and be sure to let callers know when you’ll resume normal business operations.
She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
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Thanks for all the great advice you share on the Manners Mentor blog! Here is my situation. I hope you can help. Sometimes I’m good at leaving a voicemail that’s to the point, but most of the time I feel like I’m a babbling idiot. I never know how much information to leave. How much is too much? How much isn’t enough, especially in a professional setting? I would love to know your thoughts on this. Best wishes for a wonderful week!
Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, i'll try to squeeze you in.
Category: Phone Number, Mobile Phone, Home Phone, Education, Computer, Mail Service Show more Filter Type All Time Past 24 Hours Past Week Past month New Contact Listing› Att› Imessage› Directv› Pittsburgh Post Gazette› Asurion› Straight Talk› Licorice International› Hotspot› Cctv Pipe Inspection Services Lojac› Simple Mobile› Defense Health Agency› Homeserve› Service Merchandise› Sprint Corporation› Ohio Department Of Job And Family Services› Lgi Homes› Lg Electronics› Rons Service Tire CenterBrowse All Listing » Frequently Asked QuestionsHow do I create funny voicemail messages?
Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.
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