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Wizard of Ads™ Partner, Mick Torbay, has a solution for those times when you just can’t make it to the phone, but want to keep your customer thinking and feeling positive about you. Mick writes and records magical outgoing phone messages. https://wizardofads.contractors/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Stadium-June-2021.mp3

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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. Recent Jokes Money Jokes Monster Jokes Time Jokes Bus Jokes Sheep Jokes Cow Jokes Camping Jokes Burger Jokes Weather Puns Weather Jokes Cannibal Jokes Baby Jokes Dad Jokes Grand National Jokes 69 Jokes Accounting Jokes Funny Things to Say at a Drive Thru Understanding Marketing Jokes Sperm Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Free Sex Jokes Funny Bumper Stickers Love at First Sight Joke Computer Jokes Magna Carta Joke
But then the bag flies open and among the contents that fall out is a bible. So she pick’s it up and starts to pummel the man with that too. .

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This script is very well crafted, I love the human feel to it (down to Earth all-around good people) I’m going to tweak mines a little but this will be the base of my 24 hr voice mail Thank you for sharing
Oh, and if you’re looking for extra marketing resources, grab your FREE copy of The Beauty & Hair Salon Owners Ultimate Guide To Facebook today! Label {} [+] Name* Email* Website Oldest Newest Zoé Bélisle-Springer is an award-winning writer, author of various ebooks, podcaster and speaker known for their contributions to inspiring materials destined for the salon community. They have been featured in SalonEVO, Salon Today, Professional Beauty UK, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Future Of Everything and spoken at conferences such as Modern Salon’s Digital Summit, the Thrive Sessions, Seattle Interactive and Uppercase. As Phorest Salon Software’s Community & Content Manager, they are responsible for the planning and execution of localised audio and written content as well as driving community engagement leading to collaborative course content, mentorship programs and online/on-demand video content. See all articles by Zoé Bélisle-Springer Over the last few decades, the price of living has gone up, and customers’ habits have changed. In the hair and beauty industry, there’s still quite a bit of fear […] For a couple of years now, December also means Spotify users, artists and podcasters get their “Spotify Wrapped” or year in review. This year on Phorest FM, we produced over […] Brand & PR / Sales & Marketing “The beauty industry is a different beast!” That’s what my boss used to tell me when I worked at Urban Retreat. From hairdressers to medispa and beauty, this business had […] Book a free demo Request a quote

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Now moving into the second paragraph, me and my wife and my partner James, our local Memphians, there's a reason that I refer to my wife. No, she's not involved in our house buying business actively.

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Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message.

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Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.

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    -…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.

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    1. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently unavailable, but leave your name and number and I’ll return your call as soon as I can.

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    I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on

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    Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own!

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    Funny Voicemail Greetings This isn’t a joke. At any rate, it is authentic! Two or three clients genuinely feel they’re disregarded when their voice message goes straight for voice message. Voice message personalization grants you to stay away from the contrary energies. It is commonsense to make entrancing phone messages great good tidings

    On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide “play by play” of the incident.
    5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

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    Thank you for posting the video. I think the script is well put together and seems somewhat pesonal.

    Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:
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Ok, I just watched (and took very careful notes during) your seller initial call script video. I have all the answers I need except for one… What is the recorded message that the seller listens/responds to when s/he calls the number on your postcard? Is it an interactive automated service, or just a “please provide the following information and someone will contact you shortly” kind of thing? I'm referring to your Vumber number greeting/interaction with the seller during their first ever reach out to you via your postcard. Am I making sense? I have pneumonia so I'm a bit hazy… 😛

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Little things like a great voicemail can really set you apart from your competition. Think about it. Would you be more inclined to want to interview someone who is shouting about how much they hate calling people back, or the person who simply asks you to leave a message? Andrea (she/her) is our head of PR at Snagajob, where she’s focused on telling the world how we help hourly workers and employers. Her first hourly job was as a lifeguard.

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Hi, This is Jenny. Press 1 if you are going to ask me out, 2 if you want to apologize for something, 3 if you just called to say I am a princess, and 4 if you are going to say something else. (4's Will be automatically deleted.)

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