5. Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.
This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do. 59. You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. 60. This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway. [Use to keep people from calling at odd hours to hear your latest exciting message.] 61.
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Save the funny voicemail greetings for your home phone, and let us handle your business phone. Since our digital call center is open 24/7/365, you will never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so …
8. Outside Business Hours. What the caller hears when they call your company outside of business hours. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].
-- Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen?
Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping.
25. Hello, you’ve reached [your name], [job title] at [business name]. I’m sorry to have missed your call. Please leave your name, contact information, and reason for calling so I can get back to you promptly.
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No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:
5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].
We are here to help you! If you close the chatbox, you will automatically receive a responsefrom us via email. Please be sure to leave yourcontact details so that we can better assist
4. Provide your voicemail system's password. You will be prompted to enter the passcode to your voicemail account, if you have set one (which, hopefully, you have).
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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
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