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No15: Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
Hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007. If you get this machine I am probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. .

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A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you’re in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there’s a chance they won’t appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. “This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.” “Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven’t reached the Sorting Hat — it’s the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.” “Hello! You’ve gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back.”
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Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
As greeting messages should reflect your mood and your personality, they must be recorded with utmost care and with the right choice of words. Here are a few examples which you can make use of while recording your own greeting messages.

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03Hello, this is [your name] of [your company/business]. I’m not able to take your call at the moment. Please leave your details and a quick message and I will get back to you at the earliest time possible. Thanks in advance. This voicemail greeting for work lets your customers or colleagues know that you are busy attending to other matters. It also reassures them that you’ll get back to them when you receive their message.

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09 Hey, I’m available right now but can’t find my phone. Kindly leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I get it. This cute message will help your callers know you aren’t close to your cell phone. They’ll be reassured that once you get their message, you’ll call them back.

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    These voicemail ideas may not come so easily for some of you. And who says that finding inspiration is a bad thing. It’s natural; not everyone has a funny bone inside them. But that doesn’t mean you get stuck with a boring, cliché greeting. It has to be different and contain some kind of style. And to that, I would like to give you a list of messages. They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail. These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas (or home phone).

    Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now.
    Businesses should have two main types of greetings to create an excellent call experience. The first one is what we call a “welcome greeting” – this greeting welcomes callers to your business. Typically, a welcome greeting will present a menu of call options like hours, location, or customer service. For more details on how to create a welcome greeting for your general business number, read this article.

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    21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just This is not an answering machine.

    Since this clip surfaced on the Internet in early 2005, debate has ensued about whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place. (Skeptics have questioned facets such as whether the narrator would not only have been able to tell at a distance that the book one of the assaulting women was carrying was a Bible, but to identify the specific version of Bible — and why the narrator would think to note that detail in his description.) A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box (the restaurant chain most frequently mentioned in circulated versions of this recording) produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I’m not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet.
    CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.

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    For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to associate itself.

    “Hi, you know who you called; leave a message, maybe they’ll call you back. Then again, maybe they won’t. That’s how life is. Point is, you’ve done what you can. Have a nice day.”
    The voicemail greeting is an important element of your business’ phone system because it is often the first impression of your business that customers will have. Creating a really good voicemail greeting is a unique opportunity that you can use to impress customers by putting your best face on, while increasing the chances that you’ll retain their business in those times when you can’t

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    Avoid background noise. Whether you have music playing in your office, or you’re sitting in a coffee shop, background noise can make it difficult for your customers to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around you when you leave your voicemail greeting.

    Like, right before you recorded this greeting you realized how dumb it would be to leave instructions. But you still wanted me to know how dumb it would be for you to leave instructions, so you wasted 20 seconds of my time telling me that you already knew I would know how to do it.
    Of course, your phone rang because someone wanted to get in touch. They got your voicemail because you were busy or just not there. If you section off a block of your day to check voicemails, let the caller know so they can expect a time for you to return their call. People …

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great business voicemail greetings

I’d like to think we were pioneers in our field, and with the advent of the cell phone now anyone can set up a witty voicemail, and the evidence points to the fact that many people love to amuse us with their funny voicemail greetings. So, below are a compilation of some of the funniest voicemails in the world compiled by an old hand at the game.

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I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.

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What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail greetings simple. MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses.

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Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.

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