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funny voicemail examples

She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.

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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
02Hello, you’ve reached [your name] of [your company/business]. I’m sorry that I’m not available to answer your call now. Please leave your details and a brief message at the tone and I’ll make sure your message reaches the right person. This is the perfect voicemail for a department’s secretary or operatory to let those calling know that their message will be delivered when you get back. .

what to say in a personal voicemail greeting

Hello! You’ve reached [Luke on the Customer Success Team at LinkedPhone]. Our office is currently closed but rest assured your call is very important to me. Please leave your name and number and let me know how I could be of service to you. I’ll return your call on the next business day. Thank you!
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what to say in personal voicemail greeting

Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep

how do you greet a customer on a call

14. "Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, 'achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR operations'] and are unable to take your call. Please leave your name, company, and phone number and we'll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!"

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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back.

  • what is a purim greeting

    We look forward to serving you so please leave your contact info, details and reason for calling after the beep. We will call you right back!

    – Hello. You have reached Tim’s office. I cannot answer the phone right now but I will return your call as soon as possible. Please leave a message if it is urgent or you can call my secretary on the extension (number). If this call is regarding a query, you can logon on to our website (website’s name) and leave a message.
    For example, a voice mail message appointment reminder call might say the following: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next veterinary appointment at [name of practice] is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please respond to the email we are sending you now to confirm the appointment.”

  • what to say in your personal voicemail greeting

    Laugh your socks off at funny jokes, funny quotes, funny memes and funny YouTube videos. Art & EntertainmentAutomobilesBeauty & FashionGadgets & GizmosHealth & FitnessHome & LivingParenting & FamilySocietyTravelQuotes Fun voicemail messages are an interesting way to infuse some humor and wit in your day-to-day activities. Check out some very interesting voicemail greetings that we have provided for you.

    CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.
    Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone.

  • business voice message sample

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    I have a confession to make: I haven’t recorded a new voicemail greeting since 2014. In the past four years, I (hopefully) have become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you’d think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority. Obviously I need toupdate it. And if you haven’t changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you’re likely in the same boat. After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever’s listening to it to continue the relationship. A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction. With that in mind, I’ve written 18 unique voicemail greetings for every situation. Pick your favorite, practice a few times, then record your new voicemail.
    I love my job because [XYZ company] is the best place to work at. Please leave your full name, contact info, number and other details and I’ll call back within 24 hours! Thanks a bunch.”

  • funny voicemail press 1

    Take the time to listen to calls, call back if necessary, use your cell phone when you’re out of town, and take care of anything actionable listed in the messages instead of watching your mailbox fill in. This kind of attention to detail can go a long way towards building a good reputation and image for the business. Good luck!

    “Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!
    data Price FAQs Services Customised messages Prerecorded messages Annual Subscription Blog Extra Install messages Set messages for Asterisk Switchboard voicemail catalogue Become affiliated Are you a switchboard manufacturer? Our API Funny Answering Machine (Messages) THE NUMBER ONE WORLDWIDE FUNNIEST LINE

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how to greet on a conference call

Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)

personal voicemail greeting generator

(make a little noise in the background). Hi, you’ve reached your friend’s house. He/she isn’t home right now and I took the opportunity to rob it. I was about to steal the machine as well and you called. After the beep, leave your name and number. I will write it on a post-it and leave it on the refrigerator for him/her to see. Oh and one more thing; where did you say you lived?

business voicemail greetings script

Many of these sites offer to write your voicemail script for you, but you’re welcome to write your own. Whatever you decide, there are many options to suit your needs.

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Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:

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