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3. The Value. Only your mom will call you back for something you want. Everyone else wants to know what it’s worth their time. At Factor 8 we like the term, SWIIFT℠ So, What’s In It for Them?
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"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
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I love it! Every time I hear something like this and realize that there really are terrible sales people out there – doing stuff like this – it gives me huge encouragement. I’m sure I make mistakes, who doesn’t, but wow!!!
"John, this is Mark from Pinnacle. I've been working with Steve at JKY industries and It's urgent that I talk to you. You can reach me at 123 (pause 2 seconds) 456 (pause 1-2 second) 7890. That number again is 123.....456.....7890." Hangup.
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Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping.
So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
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Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)
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Listen to Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements by Worldwide Talent Group on Apple Music. Stream songs including "After Hours You're Hosed", "After Hours You're out of Luck" and more. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Hi. Hello! A is for academics, B is for beer. Hi. Hi! This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. Hello, you are talking to a machine.
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9. 212-479-7990: You have been rejected. You met an exciting new person, asked for their phone number, and got it. But when you called, it was not them on the line.
7. Voicemail Message. The company voicemail greeting callers hear. Sample Voicemail Scripts: “You have reached the voicemail of [company name]. Please leave a detailed message and someone will return your call as soon as possible.”
2. The Mystery. A mysterious voicemail leaves the listener wondering what the call is about and plays to our fear of loss and FOMO. What if something’s wrong w/ my account?
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2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.Usually what I think is funny most of the timeis when my friends or family, after the beep, say "hello? Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! It gets everyone every freakin time because it makes it seem like you answered, but then they realize a few seconds later after they already started talking to you that you didn't.
4. Voicemail greetings for calls received after business hours. You don’t want to answer calls 24/7 (unless you’re serving clients globally and there’s an expectation of 24/7 support).
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And here are some sample voicemail greeting scripts for doctors, lawyers, and dentists, in case you're not looking for business greetings. 1. Personal Business Voicemail Greeting. Your personal voicemail greeting should be brief and to the point. State your name and your availability, project a welcoming aura, and ask the caller for whatever
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He’s running to his car, he’s out of here. She’s talking to him while he’s driving off.
Hello! Thanks for calling [LinkedPhone. We’re currently tied up assisting other entrepreneurs & small businesses at the moment]. But please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and we will get back to you as soon as possible. We look forward to working with you. Thank you.
6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you."
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“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”
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25. Hello, you’ve reached [your name], [job title] at [business name]. I’m sorry to have missed your call. Please leave your name, contact information, and reason for calling so I can get back to you promptly.
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44. Hello, you’ve reached [X department] at [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office, but we’ll be happy to assist you when we return. Leave a quick message that includes a callback number and a team member will reach out within one business day.
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– Thank you for calling XYZ Company. We are currently unavailable to take your call. Our business hours are nine to five, Monday through Friday. If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to leave a message for, you may dial it now. Press 1 for sales. Press 2 for customer service. Press 3 for the billing department. Press 9 for a company directory, or hold on to leave a message for the operator. If this is an emergency, please enter 911 now to be connected with the after-hours support personnel.
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As one of the best-selling VoIP devices, magicJack has allowed people to use their Internet connection to make both mobile and landline...
Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.
This is an audio test. Please listen carefully. Raise your hand when you hear the tone and state which ear it comes from.
Website: https://digitalcitizen.ca/2010/01/03/some-lyrics-for-singing-voice-mail-messages/
Website: https://www.amazingvoice.com/blog/10-best-professional-voicemail-greetings
Tonberries enjoy dark, shadowy places lit only by their lamps or dim natural light, and are most often found living in the depths of empty caves or ancient ruins. Though they seem to be peaceful creatures living in large, friendly societies, the presence of an outsider in their territory can make them very angry. tonberry, May 24, 2003 Joined: Feb 22, 2001 Messages: 3,328 Location: Casa de Non Compos Mentis "You have reached the residence of ..... currently we are out hunting other people to cook and fry for dinner. Please leave your phone number and address and we will get back to you." allhailIndia, May 26, 2003 Joined: Sep 4, 2002 Messages: 53 "Hello?.... Wait, i can't hear you.... just a second.... BEEP bige2002, May 26, 2003 One of Dad's friends had an answering machine that said... Hello? * you start saying message* Oh yeah! I'm not here! Please leave a message. *beep* puglover, May 26, 2003 Joined: Nov 10, 2002 Messages: 1,536 Location: NY, NY
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Funny Voice Mail Greetings - Phone Message Downloads The following audio collection contains funny, bizarre, and sometimes down right strange greetings that will be a sure fire hit with your caller. Expect lots of laughs when you add these hilarious and unusual answering ringtone audio messages to personalize your mobile and home phone.
Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this: riiiing, riiing, riiiing "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassed and you looking foolish.
“Congratulations! You’ve reached the right person! It’s [your name]. Unfortunately, you’ve called at the wrong time. Please leave a message with all your contact information, and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.”
Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….
Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a client’s interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback.
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I was trying to put together the puzzle of my life and realized there's a piece missing - you. Business transition voicemail greetings communicate important information resulting from changes to your business activities driven by things like a new address or remodeling. Keep it light and simple! In the new HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind, Billy Crystal, fellow comedian and decades-long friend of Robin Williams, opens up about his bond with the late comedian, including a series of voicemails that I'm leaving you this message because it's the fastest way for my heart to reach yours.
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Nobody wants to play phone tag. Skip the back and forth by explicitly telling the caller to leave their name, number, and the best day(s) and time(s) to reach them. Your clients will appreciate you not wanting to waste their time.
1. The Celebrity Greeting. Hello! If you are [insert celebrity crush or famous person], call my personal line. You know what number that is. Wink wink. The President is not in the office.
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
3. Using Prerecorded Messages. Leave Me A Message And Wait By Your Phone Till I Can Call You Back. Hi There! Your Name Is Not Here At The Moment. How Can Someone Keep A Dork In Suspense?
This guy calls to report a Water Buffalo that is stuck in a hole on Friday morning. This was odd as we seem to get most of our water buffalo calls over the weekend.
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The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages – Pure-Essence.Net
Recognize Their Need. When someone calls your business, the voicemail should give them a sense of validation. This means that your voicemail should extend gratitude for their interest in your business, or an apology for not being there to answer your call. These two simple courtesies can go a long way in the creation or establishment of client/business trust. Make it Informative for the Caller. Your voicemail must include all the information the customer will need for your particular business. For instance, if you’re a brick and mortar establishment, it’s wise to include your store hours. It’s also a good idea to leave them an alternate way to contact you, especially if it’s after hours. After all, you don’t want to miss just one potential customer. Here are some suggestions for elements to include in your voicemail: Business name Hours (if brick and mortar) Alternate method of contact, such as email Your name
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone"
Funny Holiday Replies, Recordings, and Message Ideas Keep your funny recording work-appropriate, but absurd, like inviting customers to an implausible holiday company-sponsored event or sharing a Keep callers on their toes with a funny answering machine recording. Give a silly reason why you can't take their call, such as you're expecting an Filter Type All Time Past 24 Hours Past Week Past month Brand Listing› Playstation Network› Ibm Websphere Application Server› Ios› Accounts Receivable› Iphone› Android› Iphone 7› Metro By T Mobile› Microsoft Powerpoint› First State Bank› Salesforce› Iphone Goes Straight To Voicemail Fixed› Quickbooks› Gmail› Microsoft Forms› Imvu› Reverse Image Search› Create And Share A Video With Clips On Your Iphone IpadBrowse All Brands >> Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat is a good professional voicemail greeting?
The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. After learning of the famous actresses use of his 90’s greeting from Seinfeld on her voicemail, Jason recorded one for her on The Late Late Show with James Corden. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.
#6 [automated robot] “The number you have reached, 717-555-9406, is not available. Please leave a message at the beep.” [/automated robot]
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Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate?
Best Top 10 Answering Machine Messages. 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.
Bullwinkle: Must have been a wrong number. Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message.
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.
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If you are tired of a robotic voice then why not use the facility allotted to you, and create voicemail greeting in your style, that suits your personality, whether professional or short voicemail greeting that will talk behalf of yours when you can’t attend the call for any reason. Get it with the tutorial, and learn how to create a custom voicemail message on iPhone. This voicemail trick is useful for all iPhone models users, Latest one & iPhone 11, iPhone 11 Pro, iPhone 11 Pro Max, iPhone XR, iPhone X, iPhone XS/XS Max, iPhone X, 8(8 Plus), iPhone 7(7 Plus), iPhone 6S/6S+, iPhone 6/6+, iPhone 5S/5. How to Create Personal Voicemail Greeting on iPhoneWhat You Should Do before Recording Professional Voicemail Greeting on iPhone?Sample Good Greeting Voicemail For iPhone How to Create Personal Voicemail Greeting on iPhone What You Should Do before Recording Professional Voicemail Greeting on iPhone?
Elements of a Good Business Voicemail Greeting. Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call. Free Funny Voicemail Greetings Recordings Home Free Funny Voicemail Greetings Recordings
Hey, not here right now and not really interested in who this is, I’m out on a wilderness retreat learning about the importance of making connections.
3. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
Answering Machine Messages: Funny, General And For Business - Wishes Messages Sayings. Just kidding, I love my job, [X company] is the best. This not only engages your targeted customers, but also creates a stronger sense of brand identity. Remember, only use fun or funny voicemail greetings if you feel that it reflects and works for your business.
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