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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

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These cool voicemail ideas given below will take the mundane effects off and leave you with fresh sounding voicemail messages. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you?
I’ve got you covered. I’ve compiled some of the best voicemail greetings you can use for virtually any situation you’ll come across. .

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This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now.
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Time to give stuff away again! And golly, you guys just can't get enough, can you? 🙂 Our letter of intent Our burned house letter Our option agreement Our motivated seller postcard 47 MLS keywords for REI A motivated seller phone script
Answering Machine Messages: Funny, General And For Business - Wishes Messages Sayings. Just kidding, I love my job, [X company] is the best. This not only engages your targeted customers, but also creates a stronger sense of brand identity. Remember, only use fun or funny voicemail greetings if you feel that it reflects and works for your business.

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Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.

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This page is dedicated to the best of what the net has to offer in terms of funny and witty voicemail messages! Impersonations and much more... voicemail messages that are certainly not professional, but entertaining and fun! Enjoy!

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    “Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!

    You could use this website as a free voice over generator for narrating your videos in cases where don't want to use your real voice. You can also adjust the pitch of the voice to make it sound younger/older, and you can even adjust the rate/speed of the generated speech, so you can create a fast-talking high-pitched chipmunk voice if you want to.
    You want to know why? So leave a message at the beep. Hi…You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills. Have a great day! The number you have reached is currently not in service, but when I wake up and turn my phone back on, it will be! If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2.

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    I guess I’m a little like a cat in that way. I’m a call screener. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, please understand I don’t screen your calls. Just everyone else’s.

    I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am.
    "SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep."

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    YES. I'm happy to also share my ‘we buy houses' voicemail script with you…a time-tested, proven motivated seller voicemail script I crafted and fine-tuned for 18+ years now.

    Here is a list of some funny messages and greetings for answering machines. Hello. Say something quickly, I don’t have time! Hi, I am a machine. If you hate talking to me, why have you called? I am, you-know-who. Leave your, you-know-what and you-know-when. Bye bye. I am not at home but my answering machine is. You can talk to my machine for some time. I have no issues.
    Have you ever wondered how many clients you might have lost out because of using a salon voicemail? The goal is to drive customers in, not away. So after chatting with some of our salon training staff that have been in the industry for years now, we’ve put together some messages that will guarantee you bookings.

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    Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

    IT STARTED OUT just like any normal day for … let’s call him Jimmy* … but little did he know he was destined to witness a group of old ladies beat up a man who had just crashed into them, with pepper spray, an umbrella and a bible!
    When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.

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Hi there! You’ve reached the domicile of Blackmore Enterprises [Horn Honk]. We’re sorry to have missed your call, but there’s only so many hours in the day where one has the chance to gut a zombie, or nail a corpse to a tree. As such, please leave your name, contact information, and message, and we’ll try to get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks much for your call. Leave your personal name or business name Say you’re sorry you missed the call Ask them to leave their contact information and message Thank them for their call

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“First, I am a big fan of the belt and suspender method,” she says. “So, the office would call; if the person is not there, the voice mail message is brief and is followed immediately with an email with all of the details.”

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So, some of the embedded commands that are in here, I made them purple but are also in all caps. Just to make sure I remember to emphasize it a little bit as I'm talking, so just to give you an idea, Mr. Seller, here's how I make it easy and convenient when you sell your house to me.

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Hello, you have reached the _______ family and we can not come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, phone number, short message, social security number, and credit card number and we will call you when we're done shopping.

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