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No24: You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.

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Many professionals in New York take the subway every day to work. More often than not, you have a quiet train ride with no interruptions. Now, let’s say you sit down and this panhandler begins his hilarious rant.
This sequence of synthesised piano notes starts off with the notes (A#, F - one perfect fifth up, and D# ... knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - mp3 version knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - ogg version knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - waveform knocking and throbing at a roomdoor - spectrogram 55320.0 .

funny voicemail transcriptions

How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!!
More Funny Clean Jokes for You:Hope the electrician knows the sprinklers scheduleLast Issue of Washington Post Express20 Sensations That Feel Amazing.Why Microsoft’s Windows 8 successor is called Windows 10Hardest Maze Ever Created!

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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.
So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

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No1: Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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Also, if you call, it’s very possible my daughter will send you straight to voicemail. 🤷🏻‍♀️ . . . . . . #parenting #parentingfunny…

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    We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

    “Hi there. This is (name) speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number, and I’ll be thinking about it…”
    13. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. All of our team members are busy at the moment, but if you leave a brief message, someone will return your call as soon as possible.

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    Website: https://funny-about-money.com/phone-solicitor-discouragement-the-long-winded-voicemail-message/

    A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good ideauntil you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message.Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why
    Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages. Semper Fi. Leave your order after the beep. You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on and on, wasting your time. No more. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me! I promise.

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    7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.

    If you’re an entrepreneur or small business owner who’s debating the benefits of getting a voicemail greeting, keep reading!
    Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …

  • business out of office voice message examples

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funny greetings on the phone

-Hi, you’ve reached _____________. Please leave a message after my kid stops (awkward moment of silence) owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!… continuing… after my kid stops hitting me in the back with his hockey stick! BEEP

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A busy greeting should tell callers that your phone lines are currently in use. You can direct people to wait on hold or leave a message. For example, “Hello, you’ve reached [company name]. Our representatives are currently helping other customers. Please stay on the line to speak with the next available team member, or press one to leave a message and we’ll call you back.”

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You voice message greetings are supposed to be fun, energetic, and witty so that the callers want to pick up their phones and give you a call just so they can listen to the greeting again.

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