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Funny phrases when answering the phone. Answering the phone with funny phrases, like “talk to me” or “Yello”, is a classic. However, the more creative you are, the funnier you will be. For example, according to List Keepers, the No. 1 funny way to answer the phone is: “City Morgue, you kill them, we relax ’em.”

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We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator.
If you’re a small business owner, we recommend going with the RIY (record it yourself) route. First, it’s more affordable. Second (and more importantly), if your clients expect to work with you directly, they will expect to hear your voice when they place a phone call. .

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“I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go now, I will find you; I will kill you. Please leave a message.”
Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.

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You have reached the office of [Business Name]. All of our representatives are currently busy. However, if you choose to do so, you may leave a brief message, including your name, number, or email, and we’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling [Business Name].
"Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

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7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.

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If you're looking to go all out to give the best possible first impression to your customers, hire a professional voice actor. Our customers love the voices available on Fiverr, a website that matches businesses with creative talent. You can get a professional recording done for as little as $5. If you're looking for a high-end product, check out The Voice Realm which offers the best voice talent on the planet. The quality is astounding.

  • what to say in personal voicemail greeting

    “Leave a message! Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut. Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut… After the beep.”

    I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.
    Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look.

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    Caller ID also played a role in the decline of calls answered by making it easier to know which calls to reject.

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    Does your salon offer Online Bookings? If so, slip that information in your recording. Drive bookings IN. Here’s why Online Bookings are the biggest opportunity you’re missed out on if you don’t offer them.

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    No more fear! You’re so going to be a gracious master of voicemails. Here are the best tips to help you leave a voicemail message that’s friendly, gets the needed information across, and ends before the dreaded “time’s up” beep!

    Funny e-mail forwards, jokes, silly stuff and more. Visit often for the latest funny e-mails!
    You’ll find the subscribe box below this and every post. Become part of the Manners Mentor Movement! Filed Under:Business Calls Calling, Texting, & More Calling, Texting, & Technology Personal PolishAbout Maralee McKee

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    Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages I've put in for you guys. Download: Click on icon next to each track or the 'FULL BOARD' button to add to your cart Per Track: $0.99 or FULL BOARD $4.99. Singing, Coca-Cola Version. Spice Girls. Having Sex, Ahhh. Marvin The Martian. Mission Impossible

    I have a confession to make: I haven't recorded a new voicemail greeting in nearly a decade. Since then, I've (hopefully) become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you'd think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority.
    Error Dial Answering Machine Telephone Line External Recording "We're sorry, Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the ... suspense 020.wav - mp3 version suspense 020.wav - ogg version suspense 020.wav - waveform suspense 020.wav - spectrogram 15360.3

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According to Gartner Research, more than two-thirds of companies compete for business today primarily based on customer experience – up from only one-third back in 2010. Knowing this, it should not surprise you that customer-centric companies are 60% more profitable than companies that are not.

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5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].

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I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).

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As a real estate professional, you're always on the go. Whether showing homes and apartments to a prospective client or staging a home for sale, it's likely that you're out of the office quite often. Anyone in the industry knows that, out of the office is a good place to be. Unfortunately, it... 7 Reasons to Use a Professionally Recorded Voicemail Greeting March 27, 2012 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings

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