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Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. 😀

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Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag.
19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help. .

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Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping.
Sometimes, you need to step away from work and live a little! This is perfectly okay, but make sure you leave a well-recorded voicemail greeting to keep your customers happy and content. Read these two examples of professional vacation greetings.

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The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail. A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century.
Creative and funny voicemail messages are great for less formal businesses but may be inappropriate for formal ones. However, if creativity is part of your job description, be sure to sprinkle a dash into your voicemail. Check out these creative and funny voicemail greetings. Top …

professional personal voicemail greeting script

To create a greater sense of authority, and that you are somebody important, list the name of a person and company who you've worked with before, especially if that person and company is a direct competitor of the person you are calling. Nothing grabs the interest of the person you are calling faster than hearing the name of their main competitor.

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If you are family/friends, press 1. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2. If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the …

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    Various messages for using with my cellphone voicemail. - I certify that I am over 13 years old. - I agree to the privacy policy and the terms of usage. Membership is free, secure and easy.

    Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. Click here to experience this voicemail message on Youtube. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.
    I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.

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    No15: Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.

    Andy Warhol said that one day everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Well, your 15 minutes was last week, but since you weren't ready, we gave it to Vanna White. Sorry.
    HA HA HA! That was my mom's answering machine for most of my high school years!! I Loved it! The A is for... one was my boyfriends when he lived in the dorms but thankfully it's normal now! lol did you hear about the lady who was a big Tom Selleck fan ? she taped a scene from magnum which had his answering mahine on in it and used it for her machine. imagine getting Tom Selleck s voice when you called home. I do think it is kind of creepy to hear a dead person s voice because the survirors can t bear to erase the tape. i totally need to change my answering machine msg and im definately gonna use one of those!! lol those cracked me up!!! - would consider changing my message to the hynosis one. hi, i'm not here right now to talk with you. in the meantime, while you wait for my return, you can strip naked and run around in the streets yelling "buga buga buga". it won't make me respond sooner, but there will be some nice folks wearing white coats who will be happy to talk to you. Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Forums > Leisure and Society > Hobbies, Interests & Entertainment > Clean/Christian Jokes > A Whipp Media Site Contact Us Help Home Terms and Christian Forum Rules Privacy Policy

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    While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude. Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice: Hello, this is the executioner. Do you want your voicemail returned? Saying goodbye to a friend like you is like saying goodbye to my own soul — it is just not possible. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything.

    Website: https://weirdomatic.com/weird-and-funny-answering-machine-messages-thatll-make-you-laugh.html
    "Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you."

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    Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... Don't even think about it! Don't!

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    Nov 11, 2019 - Explore maru's board "funny voicemail" on Pinterest. See more ideas about voicemail, funny, voicemail greeting.

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Here's 10 humorous 'School Answering Machine' messages (author unknown) that we've turned into a high quality poster that you can download and print out. You are welcome to put it up on your Teacher's Room wall for everyone to see. 'LIKE' it on Facebook, tweet about it, email it to your fellow teachers - share the joy!

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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

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No48: You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.

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7. Scream like a Madman, then answers: “sorry for the interruption.” Okay, so you might want to take precautions in this because you can only say these crazy things to your close friends.

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