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At OpenPhone, we used Fiverr and definitely recommend this service. It was quick, affordable, and got the job done. For our project, it took over 36 hours of work between submitting the script and getting the final result. The cost was roughly $115 for the final project.

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Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
When you decide to upgrade your voicemail message to a more professional option, you choose between writing and recording it yourself and having a professional do the hard work for you. On the surface, voicemail greetings seem simple, but they often go awry. Some people try to use a funny... 5 Examples of Funny Voicemail Greetings and Why You Should Avoid Them March 14, 2012 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings .

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Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages for your specific needs. You can choose a voice that will best suit your business and will deliver a warm and professional voice message. Your callers don’t want to hear a cold and indifferent machine voice. The information you want to put in your voicemail should be succinct enough for your callers to get every bit of information they need. Leave the relevant information in a clear and precise manner. Professional voicemail greetings for work should be informative. The first message the customer hears should have the company’s name so they can be sure they’ve reached the right number. Be courteous and informative. This could be their first point of contact, and you want it to be enjoyable. You may also like 30 Best Wishes and Congratulations for New Business Adventures If you’re going to make your voicemail message humorous in some way, it should be tasteful and aligned to your brand. It shouldn’t get in the way of giving customers enough information when they call. Your voicemail greetings for work should be welcoming and friendly but not too informal. Customers want to feel confident that they’ve contacted a professional, that the company values their call, and they have made the right choice. So be friendly but not too nonchalant. Your voicemail greeting should be clear, concise and to-the-point. You don’t have to put your clients through a sales pitch when they are trying to just get some information.
If it works better for you, offer your callers the option to email you, or even send over a text to a VoIP texting app, or even your personal number if you don’t mind. Many people will prefer the ability to quickly text or email, and callers will appreciate the increased level of service.

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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. Recent Jokes Money Jokes Monster Jokes Time Jokes Bus Jokes Sheep Jokes Cow Jokes Camping Jokes Burger Jokes Weather Puns Weather Jokes Cannibal Jokes Baby Jokes Dad Jokes Grand National Jokes 69 Jokes Accounting Jokes Funny Things to Say at a Drive Thru Understanding Marketing Jokes Sperm Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Free Sex Jokes Funny Bumper Stickers Love at First Sight Joke Computer Jokes Magna Carta Joke
Listen to Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements by Worldwide Talent Group on Apple Music. Stream songs including "After Hours You're Hosed", "After Hours You're out of Luck" and more. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Hi. Hello! A is for academics, B is for beer. Hi. Hi! This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. Hello, you are talking to a machine.

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Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!

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    47. Hi, this is [name], [company]’s [job title]. I’m happy to help you with [task], but I’m currently away from my phone. Leave a quick message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can. Thanks!

    Hi, you’ve reached Customer Service. We are busy assisting other customers at the is time. Please leave a detailed message with your order number or customer ID, the reason for your call, and the best number to reach you. A Service Specialist will return your call as soon as possible.
    Hello. You have reached Erin Klineman, Marketing Manager for Stone & Associates. I am currently out of the office attending a conference until August 4th. I will be checking messages daily, however, if you need immediate assistance, please contact Marketing Specialist, Michael Kim at extension 240. Otherwise, please leave a message, and I will call you back at my earliest opportunity.

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    Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now.

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    5. I checked my final recording by listening to my voicemail message fr om both a cell phone and a landline, and also asked a friend to listen for a second opinion. My new voicemail greeting: My new personal voice message recording sounds clear, concise and sophisticated.

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    Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.

    Comrades! Southwestern Front Headquarters is pleased to learn that your unit has re-established communications. The entire staff is currently busy discussing forthcoming operations with other units, but if you leave your unit name and how we may reach you, Chief of Staff Sterrett will contact you as soon as possible to discuss your concerns.
    Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message.

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    Tip: If you’re not sure how to leave a good voicemail, check out the most effective voicemail script ever and how to end a voicemail that keeps the sales conversation open.

    Related Posts:19 Cyber Communication Pros and Cons25 Best Computer Safety Slogans16 Pros and Cons of Digital Storytelling75 Good Christmas Messages to Employees Although millions of people visit Brandon's blog each month, his path to success was not easy. Go here to read his incredible story, "From Disabled and $500k in Debt to a Pro Blogger with 5 Million Monthly Visitors." If you want to send Brandon a quick message, then visit his contact page here.
    Is it an interactive automated service, or just a “please provide the following information and someone will contact you shortly” kind of thing? I'm referring to your Vumber number greeting/interaction with the seller during their first ever reach out to you via your postcard. Am I making sense? I have pneumonia so I'm a bit hazy… 😛

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No35: (Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions. But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder... pa-a-a-a!

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I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.

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I enjoyed reading your article :) PLease continue publishing helpful topics like this. Regards, from Let's get gadget, a company whose into selling

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06Hi, you’ve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message.

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