45. Hi, this is [X department] at [X company]. We’re not able to take your call right now, but if you leave a quick message after the tone, our next available representative will call you back shortly.
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Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:
06Hi, you’ve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message.
.
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2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.
Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……
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This is a funny message left on my phone, funny because they called me to tell me I am apparently ... answering-machine automated message phone voice Public Survey Call.wav - mp3 version Public Survey Call.wav - ogg version Public Survey Call.wav - waveform Public Survey Call.wav - spectrogram 15313.6 life telephone answering-machine beep answer-phone home message annoying before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - mp3 version before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - ogg version before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - waveform before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - spectrogram 56319.2 The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - mp3 version The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - ogg version The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - waveform The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - spectrogram 15181.0 answer echo god-machine voicemail Error Dial Answering Machine - mp3 version Error Dial Answering Machine - ogg version Error Dial Answering Machine - waveform Error Dial Answering Machine - spectrogram 32304.8
13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers
a good personal voicemail greeting
3. Voicemail greetings for the customer s ervice phone number. Customers will eventually need help from your business. If your customer service team is unavailable for calls, you can use the customer service voicemail recordings below.
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So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk.
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-You have reached the voice mailbox of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are.
No26: (Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
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A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't want them irritated by your voicemail message. Here are 5 examples of funny phone greetings, and why you shouldn't use them on your cell.
Listen to Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements by Worldwide Talent Group on Apple Music. Stream songs including "After Hours You're Hosed", "After Hours You're out of Luck" and more. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Hi. Hello! A is for academics, B is for beer. Hi. Hi! This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. Hello, you are talking to a machine.
Written by Aja Frost @ajavuu
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2011 funny voicemail softwares - Free download - FreeWares Funny voicemail greetings about the economy: sprint voicemail password,
31. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’ll be out of the office from [start date] to [end date]. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call upon my return. Alternatively, you can email me at [email address] or call [name] at [phone number] for immediate assistance. Thanks for calling!
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voicemail personal greeting ideas
My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
Inspirational Quotes. Leave your caller with something meaningful to think about. Mark Twain . The classic adage "when greatness calls" can be used as a funny greeting."When greatness calls, I may not be able to pick up my phone immediately, so leave a message."
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This guy calls to report a Water Buffalo that is stuck in a hole on Friday morning. This was odd as we seem to get most of our water buffalo calls over the weekend.
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31. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’ll be out of the office from [start date] to [end date]. Please leave a message and I’ll return your call upon my return. Alternatively, you can email me at [email address] or call [name] at [phone number] for immediate assistance. Thanks for calling!
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Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back—only that I won't.
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Happy Independence Day from Yu Orthodontics! We are closed from the 4th thru the 6th in celebration of the 4th of July holiday. Our office will reopen at 8 am on Monday, July 9th. If you have an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If this is an urgent matter and you cannot wait to speak to the doctor when we when we are open, please call Dr. Yu directly at 555-4010. If you are calling to inquire about services or schedule an appointment, please leave a message, and we will return your call on Monday. Thank you and have a fun, safe holiday!
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He’s running to his car, he’s out of here. She’s talking to him while he’s driving off.
And to that, I would like to give you a list of messages. They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail.
Just cut it. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers. Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Funny Voicemail Message 4 Alright listen, I'm on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
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This Is For Rachel makes a funny viral Meme Design for Men and Women. Grab it if you listened to this funny Voicemail and died of laughing or gift it for your Friend who likes funny saying Design, Sarcasm, trendy Jokes and Viral Memes.
23. "Happy holidays! [I'm, the team at X company is] away until [date]. We'll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful day."
!
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Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……
Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food. Tags: Behavior, Cats And Tech, Catster Home, Humor, Lists, Offbeat Subscribe View Sep 21 Sep 20 Sep 17 Sep 15 Load More Follow on Instagram Annie Butler Shirreffs Jackie Brown Shopping Guide Advertise Events Photo Booth Contact the Editors Meet the Team Subscribe My Account Pay My Bill Customer Service Privacy Policy DO NOT SELL MY INFORMATION
Free Logos For All Phones. Free Picture Messages. Free Animated Screensavers. Free Mobile Software Downloads. SonyEricsson T Free Stuff. Siemens Free Stuff. Free Poly Ringtones. Unlocking Mobiles. Unlocking Cell Phones. Motorola Unlock. Mobile Playground. Fun Exchange Forum. Purple Leopard. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service.
“Hello, you’ve reached the special agent Bond. James Bond. Okay okay, it’s actually [last name]. I’m currently away saving the world on a top-secret mission but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Please leave your name, contact info, number, and availability and I’ll call back as soon as I’m done helping M16. Have a great day. [last name] out!”
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short funny voicemail greetings
Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.
Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
4. Humorous Voicemail Greetings. While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey.
Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you… Bye!”
This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!
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How about I call you around… beep. Hello… pause.Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine?
Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look. Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver's status.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails.
Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
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One episode of The Simpsons has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny It's Funny.. A season 2 episode had Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
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Hi, you have reached (phone number) you have a chance to win one million dollars if you can answer the following 1. What is your name? 2. What is your phone number? 3. Why did you call this number?
So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been?
For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.
A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
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Keep in mind that short greetings are often much better then trying to say way too much that could confuse your callers. Some pointers to ask, “please leave your name and number”, or maybe ask them to go your business website to contact you by email, or even as simple as text.
Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/2019/03/funny-answering-machine-greetings-mp3.html
This is it. If you are not satisfied with the custom voicemail greeting, then follow the same steps and do it again.
Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn’t beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them.
The point of a voicemail greeting is to encourage your callers to leave a message. More often than not, and this is becoming more evident every day, people are just hanging up and assuming the receiver will call back. On the other hand, funny voicemail greetings keep people on the phone longer. Given that you have already captured their attention and they have taken the time to listen to your greeting, they are certainly going to leave a message. This will not only remind you to return the call, but it also shows their interest in completing the home improvement project.
This is a true story: my friend's voicemail says, "Hi, you've reached Dave, I'm screening your call." My friend is a recent college graduate, currently searching for a job. While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
