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If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership. If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it.

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Sorry, Chris and Susan aren’t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.
No15: Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you. .

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I’m out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in I’ll call you back. Leave me a message.
Use These Funny Messages To Customise Your Mobile Phone Voicemail. Or Use Them On Your Answer Machine At Home. Save one of these FREE mp3 files to your computer, play it through your computer speakers and record it through your mobile to your customisable voicemail service. Consult your network manual for detailed information on changing your

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Please leave your contact info, full name, and other details and I’ll call you back once I’m back in the [city/country/area]. Ciao for now!”
Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings

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Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

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9. OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.

  • what is a good personal voicemail greeting

    40. Hi, I’m not in right now, but if you leave a detailed message I’ll call you back promptly.

    If anything big changes- address, phone, etc.- make sure you correct your voicemail early on. Keep It Short; We know, we know. We just gave you all this information and we’re now telling you to ‘keep it short‘. But, a professional voicemail greeting (or any for that matter) shouldn’t go beyond 20-25 seconds.
    Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.

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    answering machine. noun. an electronic device that is attached to a telephone and that automatically answers callers with a prerecorded message and records their messages for later playback. Nearby words. Origin of answering machine. Also called telephone answering machine.

    “Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I don’t think if this thing works. I’m probably guarding my litter box right now so the dog doesn’t steal my deposits. This is important work, so I can’t distract myself with phone calls. I’ll catch up with you later. Is this even working? Leave a message and hopefully I’ll figure out how to retrieve it.”
    You are here: Home / Daily Life & Must-Knows / Calling, Texting, & More / How to Leave a Voice Mail Message Everyone Enjoys Hearing

  • business voicemail greetings for work

    >Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold

    “Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!
    2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

  • funny voicemail message ideas

    A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them.

    But then the bag flies open and among the contents that fall out is a bible. So she pick’s it up and starts to pummel the man with that too.
    Millennials seem the most vocal about an aversion to phone calls and may consider voice mail something only their grandparents use. People of all ages, however, are trending away from voice mail. Ask your friends and colleagues about their voice mail usage. Their answers might surprise you (or make you feel old).

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No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...

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It's 2013. Do we still need to talk about voicemail messages on cell phones? When was the last time you checked your inbox? When was the last time you left a message?? 7 Audio eGreeting Cards You Can Send Year-Round July 24, 2012 Juli Durante customer experience, branding, greetings

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Using your cell phone to record a voicemail message isn't always easy. Between remembering what to say and getting the right timing, it's tricky. But your phone does have a playback option, and it's easy to listen to and review your message. For some people, though, cutting off the end of a message is a funny way to trick people and catch them

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