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The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. Noland Voyd. I do NOT want greeting messages. Update 2: cind, that is funny lol. I'll have to try it sometime.

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Damn Daniel. Stop Calling My Girlfriend. Cat Facts. Donald Trump - Join My Cabinet. IRS Tax Extension. Obama Bailout. Stop Calling Me. You're Having a Baby. Stop Calling My Boyfriend. Pizza Order Confirmation. You're Having a Baby Boy.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
"John, this is Mark from Pinnacle. I've been working with Steve at JKY industries and It's urgent that I talk to you. You can reach me at 123 (pause 2 seconds) 456 (pause 1-2 second) 7890. That number again is 123.....456.....7890." Hangup. .

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Last night, my mother told me to check my email, and I knew from the poorly disguised grin that I had another gimmicky “greeting card” waiting for me. The cards tackle the human psyche as if we are creatures of binary emotional existence: vulgar humor or molasses-sweet. Read More Podcast: How do eGreeting Cards Increase Customer Engagement? November 11, 2014 Andy Begnoche' customer experience, podcast, greetings
1. Short Business Voicemail Greetings. Hi there, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. Thanks for calling. I'm unable to answer the phone but if you leave your name, phone number, and message.

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It is not only important to know how to script voicemail messages for the office but also for your residence. Many people tend to opt for greetings that are funny because the calls that you get on your phone at home are from friends and family. But if you run a business from home and do not have a separate number for the same, then it may be a good idea to stick to something slightly more generic. You can go with very general message like, Hello, I cannot come to the phone right now, but leave your name and number after the beep, and I will call you back. If you still want to opt for some voice mail messages that are funny, then take a look at the examples below. Hey, I wish I could receive your call right now but you see I am trying to do many things that cannot be done while talking on the phone. Leave your name and number and I will call back. I am sure you thought I was going to answer your call. Well, I am not. Leave me a motivational message and I just may be inspired to call you back. Mom, Dad, I love you and was thinking that for your convenience it would be easier if I had a cellular phone. What do you think about an early birthday present? The worst thing about voicemail messages is that they waste your time with long messages when all you need to say is, Leave a message, we will call back. That is why I have decided to make mine short so that no caller has to suffer listening to long answering machine messages. Bye.

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"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] beep Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? beep If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. beep WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!

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What voice do you want to convey when speaking with customers? This may be professional, casual, or even humorous.

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Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

Share My Voicemail Greeting: Related Boards: tourettes guy. 28 Tracks 46250 Views. The Voicemail. 14 Tracks 55225 Views. Dungeons and Dragons Campaign Sounds. Phone Greeting Generic. Phone greeting 2. Phone greeting 3. Ringtone- hey your phone is ringing (sung) Angry Southern Man. Clint Eastwood. Irish Phone Msg.
If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.
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This all happened a few years but we’d somehow never heard it before until the voicemail started doing the rounds on Twitter again recently. Have a listen to it in full here. 14 things we learned from Ladybird books> 9 tiny things that drive you completely MAD> Mark Farrelly [email protected] Send a Correction 600px wide 400px wide 300px wide Email “Amazing voicemail describes old ladies beating man with umbrella”. Please select the reason for reporting this comment. Please select your reason for reporting... It contains offensive language, is hateful or incites violence It contains a libellous/defamatory statement Some other reason... Please give full details of the problem with the comment... ∞ About Us About Us We're Hiring! Contact Us Advertise With Us The Journal FactCheck Follow Us Twitter Facebook Corrections Report Content Policies Terms of Use Cookies & Privacy Advertising Comments Copyright Competition Content copyright © Journal Media Ltd. 2021 Registered in Dublin, registration number: 483623. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. TheJournal.ie supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. You can obtain a copy of the Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: [email protected]

If I’m your best friend, that’s not a problem. But otherwise, I have no idea if I’m leaving a message for the right person or not. Was that his voice? I couldn’t tell. It kinda sounded like Micheal Cera. Did I accidentally just call Michael Cera’s phone? “Hey if this is Alex, it’s Bryan Allain…call me back. And if this is Michael Cera, loved you in Year One. You may also call me back.”
Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring. Please leave me a message and I'll call you back at the end of Van Halen-1.
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Customer experience is today’s business battleground. At a time where it’s common for even the most established businesses to deliver poor service, incompetent support, and just outright bad communication, how do you stand out? As big companies fail in the customer experience department, doors open for small business owners and entrepreneurs to distinguish themselves.

6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you.
nothing too crazy in terms of actual content, but my brother and i recorded our message in irish accents a while back, which was quite fun. we fooled plenty of people (i'm sure had any true irish folk called, they'd have vomited at the poor accent impersonations!) Aug 1, 2004 19,801 8 The City of Culture, Englandshire I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message! I've heard messages like that before although they've kept on saying "hello?" a few times (louder and louder) to make you think that they've actually answered the phone but they can't hear you.
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What’s more, according to WP Beginner, “more than 88% of local searches on mobile devices end up in a phone call,” so you don’t want to be caught off guard when a customer calls!

So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.
Funny pre-recorded voice mail and answering machine messages. Custom Voice Greetings Personal voice greetings custom made just for you. Create your custom greeting through our business section. Dazzle your friends and callers with a professional voice greeting customized just for you. Or make them laugh with a funny pre-recorded voice greeting!
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2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.

I know that in some cases you’re going to have a budget you have to work with for your voicemail greeting ideas. If you are looking to hire a voice talent chances are you have a budget in mind.
“You have reached the voice mailbox of nine.. one.. eight.. three..” or “Hey, this is (name), leave a message after the beep”, are some boring and typical voice-mail greetings that we generally record on our phone voice mail. But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.
First, I'd like to pay all your closing costs. When you sell your property. To me, this will save you thousands of dollars because normally when you sell your home, I'm just trying to speak to their subconscious mind, sell your property, sell your home, sell your house to me, sell your house to me. It's not overt to them, but I'm being intentional about not just saying that, but subtly emphasizing those embedded commands.
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this …
Phone Solicitor Discouragement: The Long-Winded Voicemail Message. November 12, 2014. November 12, 2014 by funny. By pure, ridiculous serendipity, I found a way to almost bring a stop to phone solicitor calls, a major nuisance for dinosaurs who wish to hang onto their land lines. !

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